Bill Oddie quotes from Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Bill Oddie

She's been cleaned up very quickly, as they do with the guillemots, and the cormorants and all that sort of thing-

Simon

Bill, Bill, I had a feeling you would rather talk about birds this evening, so I prepared your own game. Here you go, are you ready? What's this?

Bill Oddie

It's a robin eating a Crunchie bar.

Simon

That's not what I've got on the card.

Simon

Bill, I don't like to see you struggle. What's this? [Holds up a picture of a bird]

Bill Oddie

That's an eyebrowed thrush.

Simon

Correct. Do you know the latin name for it?

Bill Oddie

No! Turdus something or other. Ooh, that's funny, turdus. I know where you're going, I know where you're going.

Simon

He's caught us out. They're all slightly rude. It was the turdus obscurus.

Bill Oddie

Yeah, I know, it's funny. Means the invisible shit!

Simon

I thought you knew about birds!

Bill Oddie

Well, it's a foreign one.

Simon

Do you just pretend for the telly?

Bill Oddie

It's, it's a foreign one!

Simon

Oh...racist.

Bill Oddie

We don't mention Lily Allen.

Simon

We don't mention her? What did she do to you?

Bill Bailey

She put super-glue on your bird table.

Bill Oddie

"Hair or Blair?"

Simon

What's that?

Bill Oddie

"Hair or Blair?" I'm trying to think up new rounds!

Simon

Very good, "Hair or Blair?". What about [simultaneously with other panellists] "Bill or Kill?"?

Bill Oddie

Stay friends with the editor, that's my advice.

Simon

Stay friends with the doctor, that's my advice.