With regulars Simon Amstell, Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Stewart Lee, Tony Mortimer, Bill Oddie, Jason Pebworth
“19x03” · Season 19
In this episode: Simon (12), Bill Oddie (6), Stewart Lee (3), Phill (2), Bill Bailey (1)
She's been cleaned up very quickly, as they do with the guillemots, and the cormorants and all that sort of thing-
Bill, Bill, I had a feeling you would rather talk about birds this evening, so I prepared your own game. Here you go, are you ready? What's this?
[He plays the sound of a bird]
It's a robin eating a Crunchie bar.
That's not what I've got on the card.
You're right, we pixelated some onions...not a kitten...being chopped to death by Shakira...
[Bill Oddie is talking nonsense]
You're in charge of this....
I am in charge of this! Stewart's right! Shoosh, Oddie!!
[Bill Oddie is still talking nonsense]
[Talking sternly to the audience] Who...gave him...Ribena?!
[Bill Oddie is trying unsuccessfully to guess the name of a song]
Bill, I don't like to see you struggle. What's this? [Holds up a picture of a bird]
That's an eyebrowed thrush.
Correct. Do you know the latin name for it?
No! Turdus something or other. Ooh, that's funny, turdus. I know where you're going, I know where you're going.
He's caught us out. They're all slightly rude. It was the turdus obscurus.
Yeah, I know, it's funny. Means the invisible shit!
I thought you knew about birds!
Well, it's a foreign one.
Do you just pretend for the telly?
It's, it's a foreign one!
Oh...racist.
We don't mention Lily Allen.
We don't mention her? What did she do to you?
She put super-glue on your bird table.
What's your final answer?
TTony
Medication.
Stand up a minute...
Why, what's wrong with me?
Nah, just stand up...You look like you've been drawn by children!
[Laughter]
"Here is a man in a suit. I've got lots of brown so here's his hair!"
That's what I was going for...
"Hair or Blair?"
What's that?
"Hair or Blair?" I'm trying to think up new rounds!
Very good, "Hair or Blair?". What about [simultaneously with other panellists] "Bill or Kill?"?
Well, three has a dance music face...if there can be such a thing. Four has a guest dance vocal musicalist hair. If you put that hair and that face together, it would definitely be that one...but unfortunately they exist in separate bodies. Perhaps something could be done about that...
There he is, blaspheming again. Against God's work.
[Thunder is heard]
God is not happy with you, Stewart Lee.
You know what it's like, you're trying to guess a song, and you end up looking at a hat.
You would say that...because you hate the baby Jesus.
How dare you come on here with that Pagan-Marxist agenda, this is God's Pop Quiz.
Stay friends with the editor, that's my advice.
Stay friends with the doctor, that's my advice.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.