With regulars Simon Amstell, Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Matt Baker, Alan Davies, Nerina Pallot, Chris Peck (Boy Kill Boy)
S2020x01
[About Pink]
AAlan
She's in a basque that's unconnected.
She's wearing underwear as outerwear.
I still think she looks like Kiefer Sutherland in Lost Boys.
What are you saying Davies, the questions are too easy!?
AAlan
Yes.
This show isn't so highbrow, but we like to say "Ohh, Robbie Williams is a tit!" That's what people like!
AAlan
He's not a tit, he's quite nice.
Robbie Williams?
AAlan
Yeah.
Oh, oh, you lose a point!
Was there ever any lewd behavior on Blue Peter?
BBill
Yeah, did it ever get blue?
MMatt
Uh...well actually I tell you what, I ended up in a sauna once being whipped by the bus driver with some birch twigs...
I watched Blue Peter once when I was a kid, I think it was about morris dancing and making some...nonsense...
MMatt
Oh yeah?
Turned me onto glue.
BBill
[To Nerina] You can slag off anyone you like, with impunity. I'll start us off. Right: D'you hear this, right, the other day, Chris de Burgh on Loose Ends, he slagged me off. Ned goes "Blah blah blah, heard about that Bill Bailey?" in his way, and he goes "Yes. I've heard he's very ugly. And he hasn't got much hair."
Is that all that the troll had to work with?
BBill
That is all the-
Mono-brow freak monster.
BBill
Yeah. Mono-browed, nanny-shagging, toss-monger!!...Who has inflicted...his sentimental mewlings on a reluctant nation!!...[To Nerina] There you go, on you go.
I should explain to home viewers...this show was recorded in November and we've been assured that Nerina, by now, is famous.
[During the Intros round]
NNerina
It was groovy but it was a bit fast.
BBill
It was a bit fast, oh okay. Let's take it down. Let's lay it down. Let's take some juice out of the old mango.
[After choosing number 4]
Can I just say, I saw a flash in the eye of number two...so let's watch what happens.
Do you just want to pick number two?
No. We picked number four...but I'm watching number two.
NNerina
You'd appreciate this, number two's quite cute, isn't he?
Yes, I would because I...am a homosexual.
NNerina
No but, you'd...they won't know but he's quite nice, isn't he?
BBill
What d'you mean we won't know? We don't have to, you know, go over into the paddock to ride the horses.
S2020x02
With regulars Simon Amstell, Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Philip Olivier, Donny Tourette, Alfie Jackson, Noel Fielding
Hello there and welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Well, the world is still at war with itself. There seems to be no end to poverty and hunger. No cure for cancer or AIDS. And that's not to mention the ecological apocalypse we're facing. I don't know about you...but I'm in the mood for a bloody good pop quiz!
I should explain...Donny is a punk. Just in case anyone didn't know!
Ah, it's 'cause I'm not wearing the mohican...that you might not understand.
BBill
Right, it's more inside. It's a philosophy.
It's like, it's like a spike inside your gut.
BBill
Yeah, it's like a mohican on your pancreas, man!
D'you know what, just 'cause you haven't got the hair to pull it off, it doesn't mean that you can't be it.
BBill
No, man. I'm wearing my mohican, like, on the back of my head. Fuck everything! See? Fuck things! Fuck everything! See, pencils! See? [He picks one up and snaps it] Fuck it!
Down with Thatcher!
[To Donny] I'm sensing you're going to be a peculiar nuisance this evening...
[About The Kooks]
They said that they were Boosh fans to us. And they wanted some T-shirts. They were going to wear them on Top Of The Pops. And we didn't have any T-shirts, so I hand painted some...and I was supposed to meet their tour manager at, like, three in the morning in Camden. So I'm standing there on my own with hand painted T-shirts...and he didn't turn up! He just fell asleep! So, they didn't get any T-shirts-
AAlfie
How long were you there for?
Oh...four minutes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.