[Judy gazes adoringly at Alex as he explains the benefit of the electric kitchen appliances.]
Judy: Beyond Thundersquishy.
S6The Violent Years
AAlex
I thought, maybe . . . how'd you like to go dancing?
JJudy
Dancing? Oh, Alex, how dreamy!
CCrow
[begins whimpering and panting like an excited puppy]
[Over the closing credits]
This film was brought to you by the Nerd Council. Support your local nerd!
And a generous grant from the Mom Corporation. The incredible power of Mom.
The Violent Years (movie)
[Zoom to close-up of back of Paula's head, then dissolve to same back of head]
Ladies and gentlemen, your screenwriter: Ed Wood.
[After character gets shot in the classroom by police]
She died like she lived... failing algebra.
[Several spinning newspaper headlines are shown after the male rape scene. Everybody starts making up headlines]
CCrow
Refuses to Press Charges!
Says: "ThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYou!"
Hundreds of Men Flock to Crime Scene!
[Police car is searching for the girl gang]
Mike [as a cop]: You said you knew where the chase was!
Crow [as a cop]: No, you said you knew where it was!
Mike [as a cop]: Well, I never!
JJudge
Some people think that newspapers exaggerate juvenile crime...
We don't! Can we go?
[Tom Servo shows off his new ventriloquist dummy head to Mike, Crow, and Gypsy, terrifying them badly.]
Ta-da!
WHOA!!
Crow : [horrified] WHOA, WHOA!!! [Crow sobs loudly and uncontrollably]
Pretty impressive! Hey folks! I tell ya, I feel like a new man!
[horrified] I FEEL ILL!!! [Gypsy leaves out of disgust and horror]
I know what you’re thinking. Cary Grant, right? I could see that, sure! Maybe even a little touch of Seinfeld? Ha, ha, ha, you know I'm weighing several new career options, fellas. Politics, TV news, I'm even considering franchising the look, he-he, maybe a series of infomercials. Hey kids, you gotta get ahead? get a head!
Ha ha ha ha... GET HIM! [Mike attempts to pounce on Servo and rip the dummy head off while Crow continues wailing and screaming]
[Mike and Crow are reenacting the gas station hold-up from movie, confusing Tom and Gypsy.]
Oh, what are they doin'?
I think they're recreating the gas station hold up from the movie.
Oh...
[Crow and Mike stand very still, not moving. Gypsy yawns]
Uh, Tom?
Huh?
Was it exciting in the movie?
Nope.
Well, was it funny?
Nope.
Oh, well, uh, maybe we'd better read a letter, huh?
S6Last of the Wild Horses
[On the SOL Bridge, Mike has just explained that he reprogrammed the 'bots to have different regional speech patterns.]
So, Crow, before we go to the show, would you like to have Coke?
CCrow
Uh sure, I'll have a root beer.
I said Coke.
CCrow
I know, I'll have a root beer.
All I have is Coke.
CCrow
Oh, then Forget it, I'll just use the bubbler.
Okay. Huh?
CCrow
Oh, uh, by the way, what show are we seeing? I thought we were going to a movie.
We are.
CCrow
And a show?
No!
CCrow
Then why did you say we're going to a show?
Because we are!
CCrow
What show?
Awakenings.
CCrow
That's a movie!
I know! [sighs] Are you going to come with?
CCrow
Come with what?
Me, Crow, me! Are you going to come with me?!
CCrow
Yeah, but I'm a little low, could you borrow me some money?
Wait a minute, okay, I think that's enough. You know, there's a difference between regionalism and just plain stupidity.
CCrow
But Mike, irregardless of that fact...
. . .
CCrow
So what time's dinner?
Noon okay?
CCrow
But that's lunch!
Lunch, dinner, same thing.
[The Mad's light flashes]
Oh, something's flashing over to the whatsit there.
CCrow
Ooh, the blinker!
[Due to an ion storm, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank have switched places with Mike and the Bots. They enter the theater.]
TSTV's Frank
Aren't you gonna carry me into the theater?
Frank, you're getting too big for that!
TSTV's Frank
Aw, it's my favorite part!
[During the beginning credits, two men are fighting.]
You lost the last of the wild horses, you dink!
. . .
[The credits identify Albert Glasser as the film's score composer.]
Ah, Albert Glasser, the man who straps you down and pummels you with music!
[As boss-murderer Riley approaches, Remedy rides off, accidentally dropping a letter revealing Riley's guilt.]
MAMike [as Storyteller]
Ungodly coincidences of the Old West.
[Riley turns to one of his henchmen.]
RRiley
He dropped something. See what it is.
CACrow [as Riley]
It's a plot device. It's very flimsy, so be careful.
[During the barn fight, Duke knocks Riley over into the hay.]
MAMike [as Riley]
Ooh! Found the needle!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.