[Over the opening title]
CCrow
Young man's fancy crinkle-cut potatoes.
“The Violent Years” · Season 6
In this episode: Mike Nelson (10), Crow T. Robot (7), Tom Servo (7), Judy (4), Gypsy (2)
[Judy is shoveling bacon into her mouth.]
JJudy
Mmmm . . . I just love bacon so crisp and crunchy like this.
Yeah, evidently.
AMrs. Adams
Honey, stop wolfing your food! No one's going to take it away from you.
JJudy
Sorry, sweetie, but it's really your fault. You shouldn't make them so good.
CACrow [as Judy]
Whatever happened to my pet Vietnamese potbellied pig?
[Judy primps in front of a mirror.]
CACrow [as Judy]
There. Now I look like Mom.
MAMike [as Judy]
Thank goodness for my electric dress!
[The phone rings as Judy and her mom serve lunch to the boys.]
CCrow
Hey, the electric phone!
[Judy talks about Alex on the phone with a girlfriend.]
JJudy
Did he arrive? Man, he's positively frantic!
SAServo [as Judy]
He runs around screaming!
. . .
JJudy
And when he looks at me, I get . . . you know, squishy!
CACrow [as the person on the phone]
Well, that's nice, ma'am. I'm just trying to sell my magazines.
[Mrs. Adams demonstrates the whirring electric dishwasher to Alex.]
AMrs. Adams
There. Nothing to it.
AND IT'S QUIET, TOO!
[Judy, pretending her mixer doesn't work, opens the kitchen door slightly to get Alex's attention from the next room.]
SAServo [as Judy]
[coughs] OH DEAR!
JJudy
Oh, me!
[laughing] Did I call that?
[Alex plugs in Judy's mixer.]
AAlex
There we are.
MAMike [as Alex]
God, you're dumb.
[Judy gazes adoringly at Alex as he explains the benefit of the electric kitchen appliances.]
Judy: Beyond Thundersquishy.
AAlex
I thought, maybe . . . how'd you like to go dancing?
JJudy
Dancing? Oh, Alex, how dreamy!
CCrow
[begins whimpering and panting like an excited puppy]
[Over the closing credits]
This film was brought to you by the Nerd Council. Support your local nerd!
And a generous grant from the Mom Corporation. The incredible power of Mom.
The Violent Years (movie)
[Zoom to close-up of back of Paula's head, then dissolve to same back of head]
Ladies and gentlemen, your screenwriter: Ed Wood.
[After character gets shot in the classroom by police]
She died like she lived... failing algebra.
[Several spinning newspaper headlines are shown after the male rape scene. Everybody starts making up headlines]
CCrow
Refuses to Press Charges!
Says: "ThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYou!"
Hundreds of Men Flock to Crime Scene!
[Police car is searching for the girl gang]
Mike [as a cop]: You said you knew where the chase was!
Crow [as a cop]: No, you said you knew where it was!
Mike [as a cop]: Well, I never!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.