TV QuotesDatabase

S6

Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 6

“Last of the Wild Horses” quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

9 quotes

“Last of the Wild Horses” · Season 6

In this episode: Tom Servo (5), Mike Nelson (5), Crow T. Robot (3), Dr. Clayton Forrester (2), Gypsy (1), TV's Frank (1)

[On the SOL Bridge, Mike has just explained that he reprogrammed the 'bots to have different regional speech patterns.]

So, Crow, before we go to the show, would you like to have Coke?

Uh sure, I'll have a root beer.

I said Coke.

I know, I'll have a root beer.

All I have is Coke.

Oh, then Forget it, I'll just use the bubbler.

Okay. Huh?

Oh, uh, by the way, what show are we seeing? I thought we were going to a movie.

We are.

And a show?

No!

Then why did you say we're going to a show?

Because we are!

What show?

Awakenings.

That's a movie!

I know! [sighs] Are you going to come with?

Come with what?

Me, Crow, me! Are you going to come with me?!

Yeah, but I'm a little low, could you borrow me some money?

Wait a minute, okay, I think that's enough. You know, there's a difference between regionalism and just plain stupidity.

But Mike, irregardless of that fact...

. . .

So what time's dinner?

Noon okay?

But that's lunch!

Lunch, dinner, same thing.

[The Mad's light flashes]

Oh, something's flashing over to the whatsit there.

Ooh, the blinker!

[Due to an ion storm, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank have switched places with Mike and the Bots. They enter the theater.]

TSTV's Frank

Aren't you gonna carry me into the theater?

Frank, you're getting too big for that!

TSTV's Frank

Aw, it's my favorite part!

[During the beginning credits, two men are fighting.]

You lost the last of the wild horses, you dink!

. . .

[The credits identify Albert Glasser as the film's score composer.]

Ah, Albert Glasser, the man who straps you down and pummels you with music!

[As boss-murderer Riley approaches, Remedy rides off, accidentally dropping a letter revealing Riley's guilt.]

MAMike [as Storyteller]

Ungodly coincidences of the Old West.

[Riley turns to one of his henchmen.]

RRiley

He dropped something. See what it is.

CACrow [as Riley]

It's a plot device. It's very flimsy, so be careful.

[During the barn fight, Duke knocks Riley over into the hay.]

MAMike [as Riley]

Ooh! Found the needle!

[Duke and Riley tumble out of the loft and hit the floor of the barn.]

I fought the loft and the loft won.

[reacting to the alternate versions' of Frank and Forrester performing "Joey the Lemur"] THIS IS WORSE THAN I EVER IMAGINED HAVING MY WORST NIGHTMARE ABOUT!

This is horrible; there are no lemurs in this movie! [flees while he and Gypsy scream in horror]

SServo (Mirror)

[being restrained by Mike] I.... ORDER YOUUUU!!! LET ME GOOOO!!! You traitorous pigs! What's going on?! Where's my personal guard?! Ha ha ha, alright Mike, whatever your game is, I'll play it, mister.

Apparently, some sort of transposition has taken place.

Extremely interesting, Plankton- I have no idea why I said that.

Anyway, we gotta get him inside the theater. [begins to pull him offscreen]

I'll get his feet.

SServo (Mirror)

What is it that will buy you?! Power?! I can get that for you! Money?! Credits?! Name it! NAME IIIT!!!

[as "Mirror" Servo is brought into the theater against his will]

SServo (Mirror)

Let... me... GO! Would you just DIE?! I'll have you killed and then tortured, and then-

Have a seat! Sit down!

SServo (Mirror)

And- I'll- Oh hey, a cowboy movie! Hee hee!

Right. Sit and watch it.

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