[Antinea is talking with her daughter Ismene about why she sent her away to be sacrificed]
On the day a daughter of mine would outlive me, it is written that the sacred texts the Kingdom of Atlantis will be destroyed.
Boy, she's really strict.
No... I don't want to die.
[mock crying] I want to live! I want to live and laugh and love in life and live!
[as Antinea] You stop or I'll give you something to cry about.
[Antinea's guards arrive]
[as Antinea] And if you don't die willingly, I'm going to ground you, young lady!
[Hercules stumbles upon the slaughtered army of youths outside Antinea's temple]
AAll
[as the pile of bodies] We love you Conrad, oh yes, we do...
[as the film draws to a close, and the screen pans out to Hercules' boat sailing into the horizon with the heroes on it]
[in a Jamaican accent] Come back to Atlantis!
Make it Atlantis again, man!
Now let's hear Herc regale in the tale one more time!
[as the S.O.L. crew celebrate having gotten through (seemingly) the last Hercules movie they were subjected through]
Hercules, wherever you are out there in the ancient Greek Pantheon, I just want to say... bite me!
[A viewscreen on Rocky Jones' ship displays an image of a small, bumpy-looking planet.]
Look! It's the MST3K logo!
[aside] Uh, you're not supposed to know about that...
[Servo whistles innocently.]
[during a host segment, the bots are performing a parody of General Hospital, each line punctuated by a sting organ noise]
[to Crow] Peggy, I'm afraid I have bad news for you.
Oh my God; what is it? Is it a hiatus hernia?
Is it the heartbreak of psoriasis?
Is it a Mo-No on the A-Go-Go?
No, I'm afraid it's far worse than that.
Please, Doc, tell me what it is!
Well, when you were walking down the hall earlier, the back of your hospital gown was open, and everyone could see your butt!
[crying] I'll never live down the shaaaaaaame!
You know, my dear... in tough situations like this in the past, patients found the best thing is to be comforted by me- Dr. Chad Feelgood.
[enters as a nurse] You cad! I knew you were cheating on me!!
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I- [to Crow] Hey; nice butt!
[Crow breaks down in tears along with Gypsy]
I can comfort you, I can-
Oh no; it's Joel Robinson! The hard-drinking, heavy-fisted, cantankerous yet lovable hospital Administrator!
Oh no, and he's suffering from amnesia!
You guys, listen: I'm not gonna play soap opera with you. When I was 9 years old, my sister made me play soap opera with her. I'm not gonna play soap opera. [Cambot continues playing the soap opera sting music] Okay Cambot, that's it. Alright... that's it! [unplugs Cambot in irritation] Who's next?!
[Rocky's second-in-command Winky visits the Satellite of Love via the Hexfield screen, claiming to be a real ladies' man nowadays, while the bots are more than skeptical]
WSWinky's Mom
[after she answers the Bots' phone call to his house] Winky! Telephone!
WWinky
[flustered] Oh, um... yeah, Clarissa! Why don't ya start; the hot oil's warming up, I'll be right over!
[shocked] Oh my- Winky, that's your mother?!
[after Joel cuts the communication from Winky] You think we were a little too hard on him?
Uh, actually I don't think we even got through to him; and for Winky's sake, I hope we never do.
[Tom Stewart looks angrily at ex-girlfriend Vi, who threatens to show his love letters to his new fiancée Meg.]
VVi
Darling, you look as though you were ready to kill me!
. . .
[At the top of the abandoned lighthouse, Vi falls through a broken railing and hangs by one hand above the cliff.]
VVi
Help me! Please, Tom, help me!
SAServo [as Tom Stewart]
What? Huh? BRRING! BRRING! Oh, honey, telephone's ringing! I gotta go! Bye.
VVi
Save me, Tom, please!
Well, that's what she gets for railing against him.
