[Tom Stewart looks angrily at ex-girlfriend Vi, who threatens to show his love letters to his new fiancée Meg.]
V Vi
Darling, you look as though you were ready to kill me!
. . .
[At the top of the abandoned lighthouse, Vi falls through a broken railing and hangs by one hand above the cliff.]
V Vi
Help me! Please, Tom, help me!
SA Servo [as Tom Stewart]
What? Huh? BRRING! BRRING! Oh, honey, telephone's ringing! I gotta go! Bye.
V Vi
Save me, Tom, please!
Well, that's what she gets for railing against him.
[Sometime after a fight with Meg, Tom lifts up her 8-year-old sister Sandy for a face-to-face talk.]
S Sandy
She'll get over it. 'Sides, if she doesn't, you'll be free to marry me!
O-kay! From now on, you're the other woman in my life.
[Tom Stewart goes to check for Vi's body, only to find clumps of seaweed where she fell]
Oh, she turned into a Caesar salad.
V Vi
[as a ghostly head, after declaring to Tom that she threatens to expose him as a murderer] I told you already- no-one will ever have you but me!
V Vi
Try me... [starts shouting] TOM STEWART KILLED ME! TOM STEWART KILLED ME!
[as Vi] Tom Stewart killed me; c'mon, everybody!
[as Vi] Tom Stewart killed me! Now just the ladies; join in!
[Tom wraps Vi's head in a sack and carries it outside while she still protests]
[as Tom] Let's go bowling. [drops the sack down the steps of their building]
[as Vi, tumbling down the steps] T-o-om Stewart ki-ill-ed m-e-e!
[exorting demands from Joel, who's hanging from the air ducts and begging for help] I wanna be taller than you, and more popular.
Hey, Tom, Crow, do you guys want to--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! [She sees their disembodied heads and leaves screaming in horror]
Hey you guys? What in the world happened over there? I saw Gypsy running away like she'd seen a ghost or something.
[Joel and the Bots are left worn out by the film's bleak tone]
It's only a crappy movie by Bert I. Gordon he made to massage the marketplace!
Simply nurturing one's basest instincts and trying way too hard to be film noir!
[crying] Geez, Joel; I'm riding such a major bummer that I just spent a couple hours at Liqour Aisle talking to... Neil Young!
CS Crow and Servo
[imitating Vi] Joel Robinson killed us! Joel Robinson killed us!
TS TV's Frank
[singing his own version of Joel and the Bots' "Happy Thoughts" song, unaware Dr. Forrester is listening in] ...And Mr. Dr. Clayton Forrester will switch trains at the trainyard and there will be a horrible accident, for which Dr. Forrester will be blamed- posthumously, of course; and then the robots and I will become really good friends and we'll be roommates with triple bunk-beds and stay up all night talking about really cool stuff... [Dr. Forrester drops a live hand grenade and proceeds to leave] ...and they'll think I'm really neat and I'll invite them over to my house- [notices grenade and starts panicking] -a-and we'll camp out... P-poopie!
[grenade explodes as the credits roll]
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