[During Y (for "Young"), a clip of children fishing is seen.]
Y is the chemical symbol for heavy metals that the fish is full of!
S3Daddy-O
[As the film ends]
CACrow [as Narrator]
I hope we've touched you with a little bit of our evilness.
Daddy-O (movie)
[Upon seeing title of movie]
CCrow
Daddy-O!
Must be Harry O's father. Or Wendy O.'s dad.
[Hefty villain Sidney Chillas invites Phil "Daddy-O" Sandifer to his office to discuss a "business opportunity".]
JAJoel [as Chillas]
Let's eat some butter. Gobs of butter. Big handfuls!
[Sidney hands Phil a fake driver's license.]
PPhil
What's this?
SAServo [as Chillas]
It's made of butter.
[offscreen, towards Frank while the button to end the experiment is broken] Frank, what are you doing?
TSTV's Frank
I was just getting a- uh, piece of water.
A piece of water?
TSTV's Frank
I mean a glass of- cake... I mean-
Come here. [drags Frank over to the button by the ear and forces him to hold the button down; the credits start only to cut back to Deep 13, with the two working on the computer board] Well that's it, Frank; we're licked.
TSTV's Frank
Dr. Forrester, I've known you to be many things, but not a quitter. Are you going to give up? Live, damn it; LIVE!
Oh, I remember now; alt function seven. [presses an alternate button and the credits finally roll properly]
Today's movie is called Daddy-O, a real gem, starring singer Dick Contino, who is still packing them in in Las Vegas. As aged as this film is, it still looks surprisingly "hip" or "modern" — a strong testament to the care that went into every frame. I'm afraid some of the hipper lingo is lost on these aging ears, but no matter. I'm betting Crow, Servo, Gypsy, and Joel can take the heat of Daddy-O. So turn it all the way up to eleven, and let's rock this mother!
You know, I can't help but admit a certain fondness for the swinging happy days. It takes me back my tattered leather jacket and pompadour. I eagerly and frequently traded knuckle sandwiches with the best minds of my generation. I, too, howled. Awoo!
S3The Amazing Colossal Man
[Glen Manning runs to rescue a pilot who crashed near an imminent nuclear bomb test. Joel and the bots pretend to be voices in Glen's head.]
[in Irish accent] Glen, this is your Father O'Malley. Come back, boy! It's not worth it!
CCrow
[in old lady voice] Glen, this is your 1st-grade teacher. Don't do it.
Glen, this is your mother. If you stop, I'll make your favorite dish.
GGlenn
All I know is I just don't want to grow anymore.
JAJoel [as Glenn]
I'm a Toys 'R Us kid.
GGlenn
I don't want to grow anymore!
JAJoel [as Glenn]
I'm a Toys 'R Us kid!
[Sixty-foot-tall Glenn heads for Boulder Dam.]
Hey, look! He'll be the biggest guy by a dam site!
CCrow
Suzie thinks she doesn't need a seatbelt. Let's watch Suzie go ballistic, through the windshield.
S3It Conquered the World
[Bobsledding wipeouts are shown in the cavalcade of snow sports.]
Boy, all this just to talk to Jim McKay.
[The high-energy narrator mentions skiing, but pronounces it "shiing".]
...And "shiing" is the correct pronunciation, they tell us!
Yeah, well, you're full of skit.
. . .
[A few moments later, a title card appears on the screen reading "Cross-country skiing amid scenes of winter magnificence in Canada's snow-covered playgrounds."]
Srosh-country shee-ing amid skeens of winter magnifishence in Sanada's shnow-sovered playgrounschs.
It Conquered the World (movie)
[Over drinks, scientist Tom Anderson (Lee Van Cleef) explains the global power shortage to his friend and fellow scientist Paul Nelson.]
PNPaul Nelson
I'm sorry, Tom -- I can't bring myself to believe what you're saying.
SAServo [as Tom Anderson]
Then gimme back my cocktail.
TATom Anderson
It's nothing new. It's been years since anyone's believed me.
CACrow [as Tom Anderson]
Bitter? Oh, a tad.
. . .
[As their wives listen, Dr. Anderson explains to Dr. Nelson about his connection to the alien behind the shortage.]
JNJoan Nelson
A personal friend of yours?
SAServo [as Joan]
Name dropper!
CAClaire Anderson
[sarcastically] Real chums.
TATom Anderson
The days when people made fun of me are over, girl.
CACrow [as Dr. Anderson/Zod]
You will bow down before me!
[Paul Nelson (Peter Graves) observes the carnage of Tom Anderson's mutually fatal battle with the alien.]
PNPaul Nelson
He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature… and, because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection… they find only death… fire… loss… disillusionment… the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside -- from man himself.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.