Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000, page 11 ... TV Quotes Database

Servo

Are we in the Southern portion of the Galaxy?

[A knight demands to look inside a coffin in a coach being pulled by a gravedigger.]

SAServo [as Knight]

Towest thy vehicle to the curb and showeth me thy driver's license and registration. Did thou knowest how fast thou was driving?

S8 The Undead

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[The opening credits list Roger Corman as the film's director.]

Servo

That's it, we're doomed.

S8 The Undead

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Servo

All these random scenes simply abut each other to form a movie.

S8 Terror from the Year 5000

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[Drs. Vance and Langer climb a hill, only to discover the giant spider, its spindly, furry legs akimbo.]

SAServo [as Spider]

Please -- consider my legs when cleaning your pipe!

S8 The Giant Spider Invasion

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Servo

[as more townspeople fall victim to the giant spiders] And yet, Bill Rebane escapes unharmed.

S8 The Giant Spider Invasion

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[Two bare-chested male clones are competing in Greco-Roman wrestling.]

SAServo [as Guide]

This is not sanctioned, gentlemen. You are doing this on your own…

S8 Parts: The Clonus Horror

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[As the movie's closing credits scroll, Servo riffs on Peter Graves's brother James Arness.]

SAServo [as Peter Graves]

"James Arness: Ugly and Stupid". Tonight on Biography.

S8 Parts: The Clonus Horror

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[Confused, acid-scarred Jerry is being tossed around in the surf.]

Servo

[You know] how some movies inspire you to make your own movie? This one inspires me to make my own gravy.

S8 The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

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[Title card is shown.]

Servo

...could eat no...frost.

S8 Jack Frost

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[Father Mushroom disappears in a cloud of smoke.]

Servo

Whoa! [I] didn't think they had many landmines left in Narnia!

S8 Jack Frost

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[Father Mushroom is seen observing Ivan from a distance]

Servo

Mushroom Guy is really starting to piss me off!

S8 Jack Frost

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[A nametag-wearing mechanic sabotages Sam's truck and watches him leave, wearing a vaguely menacing expression.]

SAServo [as Mechanic]

[evilly] They don't call me "Karl" for nothing.

S8 Riding with Death

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Tom

He maintains an applicance. Duh-dah DA DAAAAAAAAA!

S8 Riding with Death

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Tom

What are we looking at and why are we looking at it?

S8 Horror of Party Beach

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Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

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