Crow T. Robot quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

You're watching Turkey Day at Comedy Central. Beats the hell out of mincemeat, don't it?

Servo

Is there a sequel to this movie?

Yeah; The Eye-ger Sanction!

Servo

Starring Burl Eye-ves.

[as he explains he's willing to help drive away the Dogs] First we'll exchange pleasantries, then, we will drink Tranya.

[snarkily] From a dish off the floor, boy?

SHUT UP!!!

Now he's going to play the world's most loved melodies, a la Zamfir.

Servo

[as Tang] Get me; I'm the master of the pan-flute!

Joel

This cockamamie satellite turned us all into duplicate Isaac Asimovs!

D'you think it's a conspiracy?

Servo

[speaking like Asimov] No; I tackled the 'conspiracy' topic in my volume set on Assassinations and Coups.

Servo

More stock footage; hit the deck!

Look out, the styrofoam is on fire!

Mr. Scott, make an entry in the ship's log. [Servo begins grumbling] ... to the third planet of the Solaris system. As this planet was heretofore unknown... [Joel begins grumbling] ... from this day forward, the third planet of the Solaris system will be known as the blue planet. We designate it planet... Earth.

Joel

Earth?!

Oh, come on, who made you God?

Servo

[in disbelief] Oh, man evolved from Tang, right. We better get outta here, we'd better go.

Joel

That means my great great grandmother was really, really hot!

Was she? You got a picture?

Joel

Oh, man, that's so sad -- look, they're taking the cake back!

Thank you, I love cake!

Good thing about the movie: we got to meet an entire family of mutants!

Joel

[chuckles] OK...and a bad thing?

They were all so stupid, they tried to commit inconspicuous acts of murder on the most conspicuous day of a woman's life!

Joel

[impressed] You, my friend, get a RAM chip!

Who's the Dream Date this week?

Servo

Let's see... it says- Twiki.

Twiki?! What a coaster; he hasn't worked since Buck Rogers!

Servo

I know; what a putz! [mockingly] Bidi-bidi-bidi; wanna dance, Buck?

That guy couldn't interface without a lode-pan adapter. Such a shrimpy little bot anyway; with those ineffectual arms, and that stupid bubble head, and...

Servo

[offended] Real funny, Crow.

[in realization] Whoops!

Hey! Is this From Here to Eternity?

Servo

No, it just seems like an eternity.

Paul... what does it mean, I'm "stacked"? And you're "not with it"?

"Stacked"?

"Stacked" means you're really smart.

Did you hear anything... footsteps... a door opening?

The sound of one hand clapping?

Hey, why's she wearing a swimsuit with a codpiece?

Servo

Oh, just for the halibut. Heh, sorry.

Stop it, you're giving me a haddock.

Servo

Oh, you're a pain in the bass.

You have no sole.