[Klutzy Lt. Bradley demonstrates martial arts and winds up somersaulting to the ground.]
LBLt. Bradley
Hi-keeba!
“Women of the Prehistoric Planet” · Season 1
In this episode: Joel Robinson (7), Crow T. Robot (6), Tom Servo (6), Dr. Ernhardt (1), David (1), Linda (1)
[Running gag: Anytime Lt. Bradley attempts comic relief.]
JSJoel, Servo, and Crow
SHUT UP!!!
[On the prehistoric planet, Dr. Farrell looks into the bubbling pond that swallowed a crewman.]
Is he primordial soup yet?
[At the end of the movie, as romantic soundtrack music plays, Cmdr. Scott and Lt. Karen Lamont gaze into each other's eyes.]
JAJoel [as Scott]
I know our affair wasn't set up in this film, but… let's be part of the Loose-End Festival anyhow.
[Joel presents a last-minute Invention Exchange item; a roll of toilet paper inside a two liter soda bottle]
Well, I guess that could come in handy; as a molotov cocktail or something...
[disgusted] You two are unbelievable! You could make Tiddly-winks sound evil!
Dr. Forrester and Dr. Ernhardt: [cheerfully] Thank you!
[Tang serenades Linda with music played on a pan-flute]
CCrow
Now he's going to play the world's most loved melodies, a la Zamfir.
[as Tang] Get me; I'm the master of the pan-flute!
[Joel is attempting to disarm an Isaac Asimov doomsday device]
CCrow
You're playing dice with the universe here, Joel. I hope you realize that.
[the Asimov doomsday device goes off, but all it does is give the S.o.L. crew labcoats and sideburns]
This cockamamie satellite turned us all into duplicate Isaac Asimovs!
CCrow
D'you think it's a conspiracy?
[speaking like Asimov] No; I tackled the 'conspiracy' topic in my volume set on Assassinations and Coups.
[as one of the scouts ends up mauled by a giant fake-looking spider] My God, how horrible! To be killed by a plush toy!
[in disgust as the crew refuses to search further for her love, Tang] I hate you; I hate all of you!
Jeez, don't say hi then!
[footage of the planet's volcano erupting plays]
More stock footage; hit the deck!
CCrow
Look out, the styrofoam is on fire!
Mr. Scott, make an entry in the ship's log. [Servo begins grumbling] ... to the third planet of the Solaris system. As this planet was heretofore unknown... [Joel begins grumbling] ... from this day forward, the third planet of the Solaris system will be known as the blue planet. We designate it planet... Earth.
Earth?!
CCrow
Oh, come on, who made you God?
[in disbelief] Oh, man evolved from Tang, right. We better get outta here, we'd better go.
That means my great great grandmother was really, really hot!
CCrow
Was she? You got a picture?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.