Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 1
“The Corpse Vanishes” · Season 1
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (5), Tom Servo (3), Joel Robinson (3), Dr. Clayton Forrester (1), Dr. Ernhardt (1)
[After a bride "dies" at the altar, two men carry her out on a stretcher, still in her poofy wedding dress.]
Oh, man, that's so sad -- look, they're taking the cake back!
[Dr. Lorenz eagerly receives the white bundle in his hearse.]
Thank you, I love cake!
[At Alice Wentworth's wedding, the bride and her maids hear a knock at the door.]
Landshark.
. . .
[Another knock interrupts Alice's talk with her mother.]
Candygram.
. . .
[The two women hear another knock at the door.]
Pizza delivery.
[At the Lorenz house, the doctor quietly re-enters the secret passage in the wardrobe cabinet in Pat's room.]
I've got to go back here and talk to the Lion and the Witch.
[Dr. Lorenz prepares to inject his wife with a hypodermic needle.]
Now you might feel a little sting...
[Mrs. Lorenz shrieks loudly.]
OK, a big sting.
No one could hold a candle to him in this role. Well, maybe they could douse him in something flammable and then hold a candle to him.
[during the RAM chip segment]
Good thing about the movie: we got to meet an entire family of mutants!
[chuckles] OK...and a bad thing?
They were all so stupid, they tried to commit inconspicuous acts of murder on the most conspicuous day of a woman's life!
[impressed] You, my friend, get a RAM chip!
[calling into the Satellite of Love to address Joel for the Invention Exchange] Come in, Joel; you tree-rotating skanky boy!
[impressed] Not bad; not bad.
[Crow and Servo are mulling over the latest issue of Tiger Bot magazine]
Who's the Dream Date this week?
Let's see... it says- Twiki.
Twiki?! What a coaster; he hasn't worked since Buck Rogers!
I know; what a putz! [mockingly] Bidi-bidi-bidi; wanna dance, Buck?
That guy couldn't interface without a lode-pan adapter. Such a shrimpy little bot anyway; with those ineffectual arms, and that stupid bubble head, and...
[offended] Real funny, Crow.
[in realization] Whoops!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
