Charlie Kelly quotes from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Charlie

Domino, biatch!

Charlie

Oh my God! I will...I will smash your face into- into a jelly!

Charlie

That's Tammy, Trey's ex girlfriend. This is classic Tammy. Trey broke up with Tammy because Marine Cannalan said that she saw Tammy flirting with Walt Timmy at a party, but she was only doing it to make Trey jealous because she thought Trey secretly liked Erin Hennebrary. But Trey didn't like Erin Hennebrary, it was all a bunch of bull.

Charlie

[under breath] Oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shiiit.

Charlie

[under breath] Ooooh shit.

Charlie

(furiously screaming at the top of his lungs) THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER!

Charlie

Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man... a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.

Charlie

[to Mac] You know what dude, hear me out for a second okay. Now technically, that stain did appear to me. Also I am familiar with carpentry and I don't know who my father is. So, am I the messiah? I don't know, I could be, I'm not ruling it out.

Charlie

[singing] I got the good lord goin' down on me!

Charlie

I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass, I'm gonna to kick some ass in the U.S.A., gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, I'm gonna kick some ass, I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE!!

Charlie

Dude, it's amazing. Look at this. Bro, you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing.

Charlie

I love you Peter Nincompoop! I miss you...already!

Charlie

Well, I taped over the Spin Doctors mix!

Charlie

Cannibalism? Racism? Dude that's not for us...those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We're just here to eat some dude!

Charlie

I'll blast you all over if you flinch again.