Terrell quotes from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Dee

How could you not tell me you were gay?

Terrell

I'm a musical theater actor living in Philadelphia! I didn't think it was that big a secret.

Terrell

Yeah, I know.

Mac

Whoa, whoa, whoa, we don't want any trouble.

Terrell

What?

Dee

Guys, this is Terrell... From my acting class.

Terrell

You know, when I'm promoting, you better believe everybody and their mama gonna be there. You know what I mean? There's gonna be brothers, white boys, Latinos, whatever. You know, we got niggas hanging from the rafters. So, we got like 400 plus packed into this tiny little place-

Dennis

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you said you had 400 people packed into this place?

Terrell

You damn right I got 400 - that's my job, man. And it's mostly college kids. You know, my sister goes to Temple, so I got the hookup over there.

Mac

Ah, and hookups are good. But just to be clear, when you say your sister, do you mean your sister or your friend?

Dennis

Dude.

Dee

Oh, Jesus.

Terrell

I mean my sister.

Mac

Oh, ok, cool. I was just - because - he could mean his friend or his sister and I was just -

Charlie

Stop talking.

Terrell

So we're packing into this little bitty place over on Walnut, right? We're halfway through the night, everything's going alright. You know what I mean? All of a sudden, I notice this dude eyeballing me from across the bar.

Dennis

Shit.

Terrell

And I don't know if this dude wants to freak me or fight me, you know what I'm saying?

Charlie

He's giving you crazy eyes.

Terrell

The insane, crazy eyes, right?

Charlie

I know that.

Terrell

So I walk over to this guy. He's this big, cut, Mexican dude and I look at him and say, "Yo, ese, unless you want to get your ass torn apart, you'd better get this look off of your face."

Dee

No...

Mac

You walked right up to him and said that?

Terrell

I had to, man. You gotta make the first move. Always make the first move, you know what I'm saying?

Dennis

I know.

Mac

That's so badass.

Dee

So what happened?

Terrell

Well, hey, he won't stop staring me down and we're, like, eyeball to eyeball, his grill is right up in mine. It feels like an eternity, son, right? Finally, he just opens up his mouth and says (Mexican accent) "I guess you're gon' have to tear my ass apart, holmes."

Charlie

Oh, man. So, what did you do?

Terrell

Took him to the back alley and tore his ass apart.