Sweet Dee Reynolds quotes from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Dee

I have a little bit of a problem with old people...I find them kinda creepy...and scary. And gross, kinda gross. It's their hands really, you can see right through 'em and all their inside business.

Dee

GET ON YER KNEES BITCHES!

Dee

I'm not asking you to do anything, just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid.

Dee

Ewww. Oh, I don't even know how that works, oh, God...

Dee

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a lil preocupied with worrying about being killed by the mob because a homeless priest ran off with all of our drugs!

Dee

I don't think I can handle it if we're cannibals and racists.

Dee

If I had to write an article about you, it would say that you're very negative. The headline might be "Most Negative Man in the World Calls Other People White Trash to Make Himself Not Feel So Faggy."

See you, Coach Dick and Balls.

Dee

Su casa es no más. Su vida es no más. ¡Somos extremos! ¡Cómo la televisión!

Dee

[reading a letter Mac wrote to baseball player Chase Utley] Alright, Oh shit there's stickers. "Dear Chase, I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so much alike." Really? "I would love to meet you some day, it would be great to have a catch. I know I can't throw as fast as you but I think you would be impressed with my speed. I love your hair. You run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither. These are all things we can talk about and more. I know you have not been getting my letters because I know you would write back if you did, and I hope you write back this time and we get to be good friends. I am sure our relationship would be a real 'home run.'"

Dee

Just so I'm clear, you don't actually think things are going to come alive because you're spending the night in museum, right?

Dee

I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!

Dee

This sucks. This sucks a bag of dicks.

Dee

Attention, passengers. This is your captain, Boss Hogg, speaking. And this cold slice of heaven is my 40th beer of the afternoon. So any of you dicknips think you can slug it down faster than me, you're welcome to get your fat asses up here to try.

Dee

Hold onto these guys for balance. [hands Charlie two beer bottles]