Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(to a customer) It's raw? Okay, we'll do another one for you. (brings the dish to the pass)

Oh, fuck off.

That's Table 31, Chef. This is not cooked.

Blue. Come here, you. Oi, all of you, come here. (to Sharon) You've stopped. (to Christina) You've given up. (to Matt) You're setting the place on fire. (to Jason) And you're sending me raw fish, that's fucking cold and fucking raw. [angrily throws the fish in the bin]

It's not mine.

"It's not mine?" How dare you? It's just come back from the table.

Oh, okay.

SHUT IT DOWN! (to Jean-Philippe) GET THE FUCKERS OUT!

Christina, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen? Truthfully?

I should stay in Hell's Kitchen because I am intelligent chef. If I am being condescending to someone like Corey, she needs to come tell me, it's not something I'd do to her to be personal. I will get better and I will [starts crying] fight for it... that's why I should stay.

Thank you. Jen, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?

It's unfortunate for you, that you don't get to see what goes on when we do prep chef. I'm a beast back there. I know what I'm doing, I work hard and I get the food out, [abridges Jen's absurdly long plea and shortened clips of some of her sentences] There's so much creativity and I really ask you to give me the opportunity chef because this is not the end for me, it's really not.

Breathe!

I'm breathing chef... May I say one last thing?

Oh fuck me!

Alright.

Before I make my decision, there's something I'd like to say. This is one of the most important prizes ever. An executive chef's decision in my own restaurant. I am not just going to give this job to someone who I do not believe in. And there's someone here that I just don't believe in. [brief pause] So, the person leaving Hell's Kitchen is... Sharon.

(whispers) Fuck.

As the men go off for a day of hard labor, Chef Ramsay and the women are off to the Sunset Strip. Little does Chef know...

Okay. Off we go.

One of Hell's Kitchen's former chefs is a regular at the Saddle Ranch.

Yee-hah! Howdy, Chef Ramsay!

Oh, my God.

[goes over and hugs Gordon] Good to see you, Chef.

I feel like crying. [pretends to cry] [flashback to season 3 where Aaron cried minutes before service]

[laughs] Don't cry, Chef!

Okay, thank you.

[walks with the salmon] Salmon, medium.

[Checks Ben's salmon, which is overcooked] What's wrong with that salmon?

It's a little...

WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO ME IF IT'S BURNT?!

(interview) I sent up, you know, perfect medium salmon, and he sent it back. It had a little, uh, tiny burnt edge on the side. I mean, this is craziness.

You can't cook a fucking salmon?

I can cook a salmon, chef, yes I can. Just a lot of pressure, different kitchen, different... different cooking techniques that I'm used to.

Cook me a salmon, medium. Can you do that?

Yes, sir.

"Different techniques?"

With the likelihood fading that any of his table's other entrees will arrive, Bobby takes matters into his own hands.

While General Bobby feeds his troops in the Blue dining room, customers on the Red side are sending out distress signals.

...But the diners aren't the only ones in need of rescue.

Oh, no. Oh, no, come on. Stop. Stop. Stop! Stand back! Stand back! Stand BACK!! [removes the meat from the pan] There's cooking, and there's fucking bonfire-- STAND BACK!!! Same shit, different day. [throws the pan in the sink, where the fire blows up, then dies.] This is fucking embarrassing!!

(interview) My mind is racing, my heart is pounding...

That's not a fucking sauté pan, that's a FURNACE! LOOK at the meat!!

(interview) I blew four pieces of meat on there. It was just really horrible for me. I'm hoping I'm never going to have that happen again.

It's SCORCHED! Cooking, my ass!

As the Red team, once again, starts over on their entrées, Jason starts preparing his first desserts.

Is this the right way to do it? I hope it is. (interview) I don't have a clue on this earth what I'm doing. I hate desserts! They're tedious! Women can make desserts, you know? It ain't my thing. (to Louross) ...5 minutes for the crème brûlée, so I have two of those in.

Your crème brûlée's done already!

No, it's not. That's not cooked.

That's cooked!

Oh, Jesus Christ. (interview) The soufflés looked like muffins in a cup! I don't know what was wrong, because I don't know desserts, but I know they would not come up for nothing!

Jason!

Yes?

What's happening with the desserts?

The soufflés are not coming out at all; they're sticking!

Come here a minute.

Okay. [goes over to Gordon] I cannot get them to come up, they're sticking really bad, they look like shit, they look like muffins.

(in a fast tone) So, are we going to take it off the menu, are we going to do something constructive, are we going to do anything about it...

I'm, I'm trying something new. I'm going to take some sugar and rub it around the rim, and try to get that... and... that's what I'm trying to do right now.

You're going to get some sugar and rub it around the rim?

Sugar-- no, no-- sugar, butter, and the cocoa powder, and see if that keeps them from sticking. :[Gordon goes over to the hotplate and repeatedly bangs his head on the counter]

Salmon, chef.

I've got a fucking headache. [checks the salmon, which is under-cooked] Ben! [pounds the counter] Salmon's raw in the middle!

Oh, maybe a little under.

It's pink! Come here you, hey, stop! [calls the blue team) Come here! [starts distributing pieces of salmon to the members] That's what brought to me, taste. Taste, yeah, yeah? [pounds the workstation and kicks the bin] FUCK! SHIT! What in the fuck is GOING ON?

All of you come here! Get in there! [The Blue Team enter the Red Kitchen] Let's put one shit mess with another shit mess! Get in there! There you go, join forces. We've gone backwards! And you're (Vanessa) just all over the place! And you're (Jason) just hopeless! And you (Ben) don't care! Pathetic! And then you look at me, gormless like, the salmon's raw when it was requested medium. And what do you say?

Different techniques.

[throws the ticket at Ben] Fuck off! Not good enough! I'm not going to continue this any longer. Winning team? Forget it! What's so FUCKING COMPLICATED? Christina, you made an effort— [flashback where she communicates with her teammates] to get all the appetizers out. Thank god! Unfortunately, we got screwed when it came to the first entrée. You've got to go upstairs and nominate one individual that's leaving here.

Yes, chef.

Petrozza, you stayed with it. Your mind was clear, your attitude was strong— [flashback where he communicates with her teammates] get upstairs and think about who you are going to nominate. One from the blue, one from the red. NOW GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Bye-bye!

Love you, Bobby!

[calls out Bobby] Bob. Bob, come here. Yeah, I wouldn't go around looking for applauders right now. Right now is the wrong FUCKING TIME! GET OUT!!! [shouting loudly as Gordon orders him to leave the kitchen]

Yes.

Jackass waving at them! WHAT do we have to wave about?! I DON'T CARE!! GET OUT!!! [Gordon's last scream lets Vanessa and Matt run upstairs to the dorms]

(interviewing) Damn, man, another disappointment. It was horrible tonight, though. The words can't express, the look of disappointment on his face, he's probably feeling like right now that ain't nobody here competent to run his restaurant.

This is how I make my living and I can't fucking do it.

If I were on your station tonight, I would have done the same thing and you know that. You got the talent.

No, I don't.

Yes, you fucking do.

I've been in a fucking grill cook for 15 years and I can't cook a fucking steak. (interviewing) I feel worthless. This is all I know how to do and now I don't even think I know how to do this anymore.

Everybody expects me to put Corey up. I wish to God she would have fallen on her face.

Oh, yeah, Corey is evil.

She personally attacked me.

45 minutes into dinner service, blue diners are enjoying their appetizers.

The onion rings are good. I like them.

The onion rings are getting positive reviews.

The chicken however...

(As Jean-Philippe returns the chicken.) Oh no. Oh no! Raw chicken?

Yeah, raw chicken chef.

Oh fucking hell. GENTLEMEN! [slams the plates down] RAW CHICKEN! Matt! [kicks the bins] Pink and bloody! [throws the chicken in the bin] Come here you. Fucking prick!

Yes, chef.

What the fuck are you doing?

Yes, chef. Sorry chef, it won't happen again.

(interview) Oh, my God. That's pretty major. If a kid is biting into a chicken wing that's raw, that's just fucking nasty.

It's the tartare again with you isn't it?

That's what it is, isn't it? That's what you can do?

No it's not chef. (interview) I was this close to his face and I didn't even blink at him.

You can manage to fuck up raw food. WAKE UP!

Yes, chef! (interview) I'm not going to break. I'm not here to break. He's not going to break me as a person.

Hey, Craig! Four macaroni, one burger, one spaghetti of clam, and you've given me meatballs. One's called a fucking meatball, and one's called a clam. Spaghetti is clam, meatball is meatball. Where's the spaghetti of clams?

Right here, chef.

Fuck! [kicks a bin] Raw!

Don't worry about it. Start over, fast.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

So, how long?

I got it.

[pulling the tongs back] These are mine.

He doesn't even answer you, look. He doesn't even give you an answer.

Craig, answer the chef already!

TWO MINUTES!

Jen, stand next to Chef Ben. Cook with him.

(interview) The thing is, it's embarrassing that chef called them in to come help.

(to Ben) Look at the current situation. Now, go around and slap yourselves in the back now then.

I thought we were close chef, but I was wrong.

You thought you were fucking close. Let's give a big round of applause to the captain who hit an iceberg on the fucking Titanic. Shayna.

Yes, chef.

Stay next to Chef Craig.

What do you need?

I got it. I got it. I got it.

(interview) "I got it. I got it. I got it."

What do you need?

I got it.

Don't tell me you got it. What do you need? (interview) Chill! Take the help. Even if it's from a girl.

Just push out the plates. Let's just do it and just end the day.

Away now, one crab cake, one meatballs, one clam, one Caesar.

(to Craig) How long?

How long for the fucking clam?

You're burning, you're burning.

He's not even giving me an answer.

Come on, answer him, please!

He's making me feel fucking nervous!

[burns his hand] Fuck!

Hello?

Let's just go! Craig, Craig, the pasta's ready! Come on!

How long for the fucking clam?

It's coming up right NOWWWW! Fucking listen! [angrily throws a pan to one side]

Oh, my fucking god.

Ben, what you've done and the ambitions, you do seriously surprise me.

Thank you, chef, I-I was hoping you'd see that. I mean, I give it all I've got. Gave you a hundred and ten.

You surprise me to how shit you are!

Oh... thank you.

I was expecting more. Hey, maybe you shouldn't have quit your fucking day job so early!

All three of you should walk through that door.

I'm just going to keep giving you 100% chef. Every day.

I'm going to give you 125%.

I don't know percentages but just over that.

[checking Rosann's runny mashed potatoes] Oh come on! You, fucking... pisscream, what is that shit?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Fuck off, will you yeah? Is that how you're going to fucking respect these tables?

Absolutely not chef.

"Absolutely not chef."

(interview) I started getting really fucking frustrated because I couldn't catch up and I was just falling behind. So it was only just getting more and more hectic for me.

I don't know when you're going to think about waking up but hey, soon I would appreciate it madam.

Yes, chef.

Pathetic. This is what you're doing... [taps the spoon on the veg pan] Would you stop tapping and start concentrating?!

Okay, my mistake, chef.

Oh, fucking right it was your mistake! I need the mashed and the carrots now!

Yes, chef.

Mashed, carrots now! I can't go unless I've got the veg! What is going on Rosann? Oh my god, almighty. This is fucking meltdown. Out of the way please. [tastes the mashed potatoes] Oh, fucking hell! No salt. (to the servers) Go, go, go. Send the vegetables separate. She gets confused over a fucking vegetable [Rosann now brings the garnish to the pass] Fuck off will you yeah? FUCK OFF! They're gone! Get away! The lamb, wellington's already gone! Fuck all! [sits in fetal position] Rosann!

Yes, chef.

Not good enough!

Hey guys. Louross, come here!

Chef!

Come on, quickly, let's go! Touch that!

Still kind of lukewarm, chef.

What did I request, temperature?

Medium well, chef.

Get it back in the pan!

(interview) I got this, I have to do it. I can cook a steak, you know what I'm saying, but like, what the hell happened?

The pan's burning, Louross, it's about to go up in flames. Charcoal beef. [Louross's meat pan emits a flame]. Do you honestly not know how to cook a steak medium well?

I know how to cook a steak, chef!

So why aren't you doing it then, Louross?

(to himself) Come on babe, come on, fuck!

Come on, Louross!

Plating up now chef, we're plating up!

(checks the steaks) Louross, What's up man? How come I can't see the nice beautiful inside of the beef?

I cut it in half then I just seared it to cook it off -

No, see, the correct answer is you fucked it up, you didn't cook it right, and you're trying to get it by me. Do you have another one that I can see a nice pink center in?

Yes, chef! [to Petrozza] Do you have another one with a nice pink center in it?

Nah I.. No. That one won't work?

No, that one's not going to work.

With no steaks ready to serve, Louross's situation is looking grim.

Fuckin' send me home, that's what they're going to do.

But Petrozza has a plan.

[notices Gordon isn't in their kitchen] This is our chance.

It's not going to work, it's not going to work.

This is the only shot that we got. (interview) We had to show the base of the beef, so I had to slice a sliver off it. I want to get the fucking food out!

It's not... It's fucked up already if it shows up...

(interview) He sliced that paper thin and I looked at him and I'm like are you serious? And he's like yeah! But damn, do you see the color on that steak? It was straight medium-well!

How's that one? Looks like it fucking works to me.

Hey Louross, where's that beef?

Here's the beef. [brings up his altered beef]

Much better.

Two risotto in my hands, chef!

[notices that there are no mushrooms in the risotto] Where are the mushrooms?

Yes, chef.

No, where are the mushrooms? [places the pan back on the stove] Just look, they're white!

Putting them in right now. [takes the pan off the stove]

Put the pan on the stove please!? Thank you, more mushrooms!

Yes, chef.

Come on, Christina!

Yes, chef! [places the mushrooms in]

There's not any mushrooms in there!