[Stan's RV enters Gravity Falls. The kids cheer]
I still feel a little bad about wrecking those tourist traps.
Aw, come on! Everyone loves my pranks. And the best part is, I never have to face any consequen- SWEET LORD! [Stan stops the RV and sees the Mystery Shack already vandalised by the three tourist trap owners] AH, COME ON!
[closeup on graffiti: "Stan is a HACK!"; "Stan is a BUTT: Granny Sweetkins says eat it Pines!"; the Upside-Down Town boss rotates the gift shop sign upside-down as payback; the Corn Maze Worker breaks one headlight on Stan's RV with a baseball ball]
CMCorn Maze Worker
That's what you get! That's what you get!
I don't understand. I completely don't deserve this.
Oh, man, are we gonna have to help clean this up?
Nah, I'm sure Soos will take care of it. Where is Soos, anyway?
[post-credits scene: Soos is still stuck in the Corn Maze]
Okay, Soos, remember what your grandma taught you. When you get lost, stay exactly where you are, and don't move. [pause] Don't move. [another long pause] You know, I would make a really good scarecrow.
[At the Gravity Falls High School]
Wendy, what are you doing here?
Ugh, high school registration.
Ooh! You know, I'm only a year away from high school myself. Would you say your experience is more "rom-com", or "wacky romp"?
More like "teen horror movie". High school is the worst. Classes get super-hard, your body just flat out turns against you, and worst of all, everybody hates you!
TThompson
Can't do it! CAN'T DO ANOTHER YEAR!
My hormones are like a SWEATY CAGE!
Why aren't they singing about following their dreams? TV taught me that high school was like some sort of musical.
TV lied, man! If you can avoid growing up, do it! I'd give anything to be twelve again.
Hey, everything all right, pumpkin?
Just can't believe the summer's almost over. And now that I know how awful high school's going to be, I'm in no hurry to start that train wreck.
Ah, nobody likes gettin' older. But just because you're growing doesn't mean you have to grow up, you know? I mean, look at me. I'm pushin' 70 and I still eat ice cream for dinner!
But I don't wanna say goodbye to Gravity Falls.
Hey, at least whatever happens after this summer, you'll still have your brother along with you through thick and thin. Not everyone can say that, you know?
Tell me it's not true, Dipper. Tell me you were joking. [holds up the walkie-talkie, through which she heard Dipper and Ford's conversation] Ford's apprentice? Seriously?!
Look, I was thinking, and... this is a huge opportunity for me.
Well, it's a horrible opportunity for me! I had the worst day of my life! When we turn thirteen, summer ends and I have to leave everything behind. You're the only person I could count on, and now you're leaving me too?!
Look, I've been thinking about it. I won't be gone forever, okay? I'll still visit you at home, and we'll chat online. We'll make it work.
I don't want it to work! I just wish summer could last forever.
But it can't, Mabel. Look, things aren't gonna stay frozen this way. It's part of growing up. Things change. Summer ends.
[Mabel glances at Dipper, pushes him away and runs off crying; she unknowingly grabs Dipper's backpack while running out]
Mabel, wait! I didn't mean it like that! Mabel, come back!
Look, maybe it's against the rules, but you once did a favor for me, so I thought I could help you out. It's called a Time Bubble. It prevents time from going forward. Summer in Gravity Falls can last as long as you want it to!
R-really? But how does it work?
I-I just need you to get a little gizmo for me from your uncle. [shows the rift] Something small; he won't even know it's missing.
Huh...Maybe Dipper has something like that in his nerd bag.
[Cut to Ford's lab]
Let me guess. Mabel didn't take it well?
I don't know, maybe I'm making the wrong decision. I need to think about this.
Dipper, right now we need to focus on the mission. Now come on, I've got the glue; hand me the rift and let's make history.
[Dipper reaches into his bag, but he takes out the birthday flyer instead of the rift]
[Cut back outside as Mabel takes out the rift]
Huh, that's...odd. Is this it?
Yes, that's it! Just hand it over and I'll do my thing...unless you're ready to leave Gravity Falls?
Just a little more summer...[hands over the rift]
OOPS! [drops the rift and smashes it with his boot]
[Blendin cackles, taking off his goggles to show he is possessed by Bill Cipher]
Oh, no! Wait, wait, wait!
[Bill snaps his fingers, knocking Mabel out. Cackling, he emerges from Blendin's body]
At last! At long, long last! The gate between worlds has opened! The event one billion years prophesied has come to pass! The day has come! THE WORLD IS FINALLY MINE!
[As Bill Cipher towers over Gravity Falls and its citizens]
All right, listen up, you one-lifespan, three-dimensional, five-sense skin puppets! For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for a new universe to call my own. Name's Bill. But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity.
[he melts the statue of Nathaniel Northwest]
Now meet the gang of interdimensional criminals and nightmares I call my friends. [as various creatures come out of the scar in the sky] 8 Ball. Kryptos. The being whose name must never be said. Haha, what the heck? It's Zanthar. Then, of course, there's also Teeth, Keyhole, Hectorgon, Amorphous Shape, Pyronica, Paci-Fire and these guys. This is our town now, boys! [all his friends start cackling out loud]
Now see here, you unholy triangle fella! As mayor, I strongly urge you to git... git on out of here!
Yeah! Things with one eye are weird!
We don't like out-of-towners!
MDManly Dan
[ripping a mailbox in half] AND WE PUNCH WHAT WE DON'T UNDERSTAND!
NMr. Northwest
I would just like to say that as a rich capitalist, I welcome your tyrannical rule. Perhaps I could be one of your... Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
NMr. Northwest
Not now, sweetie. The grownups are talking.
Oh, wow, that's a great offer. How 'bout instead, I shuffle the functions of every hole in your face?
[He clicks his fingers, and Mr. Northwest's face is suddenly grotesquely mixed up; he falls to the ground, giving out muffled screams as his family watches in horror; Bill cackles as people flee, and turns Deputy Durland to stone]
Durland! My precious Deputy Durland, no! [one of the "Eye-Bats" transports Durland away]
It's time we do a little redecorating! I could really use a castle of some kind! [causes a pyramid to form and float in the sky] And how about some bubbles of PURE MADNESS?! [summons colourful bubbles; one passes through Sprott, making him scream madly and rip his shirt apart] This party never stops! Time is dead and meaning has no meaning! Existence is upside-down and I reign supreme! Welcome, one and all, to WEIRDMAGEDDON!
I'll die before I join you! I know your weakness, Bill!
Oh, yeah? And I know a riddle: Why did the old man do this? [holds his arms at his sides vertically]
[copying Bill's pose] "This?" [Bill suddenly turns him into a gold statue]
Because I needed a new backscratcher. [Laughs with the Henchmaniacs]
That's ENOUGH! Hand over my uncle! [Holds up Journal 3] Or else!
Now isn't...this...INTERESTING? [teleports right in front of Dipper] My old puppet is back for an encore! [dangles the petrified Ford] You think you can stop me? Go ahead, Pinetree, show me what you got!
[flips through Journal 3] I...uh, I...[sees a blacklight entry on Bill saying "IF HE GAINS PHYSICAL FORM THEN ALL IS LOST!"]
[mockingly] "I, um, I-" Do it, kid! Do some brilliant thing that takes me down right now! Whaddya got, Pinetree? Everyone's waiting! DO IT!
BILL-! [lunges at Bill, who effortlessly blasts him into a tree. The Henchmaniacs jeer]
[levitates the Journals] That's right. Don't be a hero, kid! [shows Ford] This is what happens to heroes in my world! [Sets the Journals aflame]
Not much of a threat now, are you?
[Bill and his friends party in the Fearamid]
[cackles] Go nuts, guys! When we're done partying, I unveil Phase 2.
[Pounding is heard]
VVoice
Open up! This is the police. Time Police!
Just play it cool, ditch the time-punch. Let me do the talking.
[The Time Police and Time Baby blast in through the front doors]
LLolph
Bill Cipher, you are in violation of the rules of space-time, and possessing the body of a time officer.
My body is a temple! How dare you!
TBTime Baby
Hear this, Cipher.
TBTime Baby
If your rip in this dimension continues, it could destroy the very fabric of existence. Surrender now, or face my tantrum.
[sarcastic] Oh no, a tantrum. Whatever will I do about that? HOW 'BOUT THIS?!?! BOOM!
[He points at Time Baby and the police, instantly vaporizing them; eye turns into a mouth and blows the smoke off his finger]
KKryptos
Ah, snap! He just killed Time Baby! [they all start partying again; Blendin hides behind a pole]
Aw, man! This has gone from bad to worse! I gotta get outta time-dodge! [uses his time tape and disappears]
Ladies, gentlemen, that creature with like eighty-seven different faces.
CCreature
Eighty-eight different faces.
Whoa-ho, sorry. Touchy subject. Anyways, it's been fun turning Gravity Falls inside out, rounding up all its terrified citizens and then stacking them into this massive throne of frozen human agony. Don't worry, they're not conscious anymore... probably.
[groans, unfreezes] Uh, my omelettes. They... have friendly faces.
Whoops. Hehe, back, back you go there. [pats her back, she turns back into stone] But Gravity Falls is just the beginning. It's time to take our chaos worldwide! All right, boys, to the corners of the Earth! Set the world aflame with your weirdness! This dimension is ours! [the creatures fly out of the pyramid] Ah, global domination. I could get used to- [the creatures slam into the forcefield] WHAT?! [flies out and touches the forcefield] Hmm, this might be more complicated than I thought.
PFPaci-Fire
I think I broke something.
All right, can anyone explain to me why, even with our newfound INFINITE POWER, [summons a thunderstorm] none of us can escape the borders of this STUPID HICK TOWN?!? There's some kind of forcefield keeping us in, but who would know how to fix it? [looks at the petrified Ford] Hmm... [his eye cycles through images of the Journals] Maybe someone needs to come out of retirement.
KKeyhole
Bill! Sorry, boss, but Gideon let the Pines family escape! They're inside Mabel's bubble as we speak!
[laughs] Buddy, Mabel's bubble is the most diabolical trap I've ever created. It would take a will of titanium not to give in to its temptation! Fetch me Gideon and take the rest of the day off. [looks at Mabel's bubble in the distance] Things just got a little more interesting...
[pants] Oh my gosh! This is crazy. I'm-I'm losing my mind. We have to get out of here. We have to go back... to the real world!
[many people and Mabel gasp out of earshot; Waffle Guards tackle Dipper down on the ground]
WGWaffle Guard
Under Article Smiley Face of Exhibit Squeaky Duck, you are hereby accused of breaking our one rule—mentioning reality. [people mutter indistinctly] Prepare to be banished from this land forever! [open a portal out to much-destroyed Gravity Falls]
Mabel! You're smarter than this! Bill has you hypnotized or something! Are you really gonna let them banish me!?!
No! Of course not! That's my brother, guys! There's gotta be another way.
WGWaffle Guard
Very well. If Dipper wishes to stay, he must plead his case in the ultimate trial... of fantasy vs. reality. [is bitten] Hey! Seriously?!
[pointing to a stuffed rhino] It was him.
Mabel, listen to yourself! This is crazy! I'm sorry about our fight, and I'm sorry things aren't great right now, but that doesn't mean you can stay in here forever!
DFDippy Fresh
Hey, take a chill pill. Those grow on trees here.
You stay outta this, Dippy Fresh!
Dude, calm down. Dippy Fresh didn't do anything to you, dog.
