Robbie quotes from Gravity Falls

Wendy

And Robbie. You can probably figure him out.

Robbie

Yeah, I'm the guy who spray painted the water tower.

Dipper

Oh, you mean The Big Muffin.

Robbie

Uh, it's a giant explosion.

It kinda does look like a muffin.

Wendy

Come on, Dipper.

Dipper

[climbing over the fence] Okay, okay, just gotta get a foothold.

Robbie

Dude, your sister did it.

Mabel

[running on the ground sideways in a circle] Woop woop woop woop woop woop.

I'm bonkers for eating you alive.

No! [Screams as a stabbing sound is heard]

Lee! Okay, okay... I'm with you kid! 100%, man!

[possessing Mabel, flies up behind counter; through Mabel, deep voice] Welcome.

[Scream]

Dipper

They got Mabel!

Welcome to your graves, young trespassers. [Kicks legs and laughs]

Wendy

We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!

Dipper

Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?

Well... okay. You're free to go. [Opens doors] But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs.

[Scream and run for the door]

[Closes doors] Just kidding about the hot dog sale.

Just let us out of here already!

I don't like your tone. [Dissolves Nate]

[Reappears as a hot dog on the stove] No! I'M A HOT DOG!

It begins. [Makes everything float to the ceiling] Welcome to your home for all eternity!

Wendy

Dipper, what do we do?!

Dipper

DUCK! [Dipper and Wendy duck to avoid a flying shelf]

Wendy

[Points] Quick! In there! [Dipper and Wendy Run to a tipped over ice machine and hide inside and pant]

Wendy

What do they want from us?!

Dipper

Revenge, I guess?

Wendy

What did we do wrong?

Dipper

Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense!

Wendy

Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things.

Dipper

Wendy, say that last part again.

Wendy

Normal teenage things?

Dipper

Of course! Stay here until I get back! [crawls out of the freezer]

Wendy

Dude, what are you doing?!

Dipper

Hey ghost!

[twists Mabel's head around to face Dipper, then turns the rest of her body towards him]

Dipper

I've got something to tell you! I'm not a teenager!

[drops everything that's floating and appears holding Mabel by her hair with Ma] Hohoho! Well why didn't you say so? [drops Mabel into a pile of candy]

Mabel

WAAH! [Lands in the candy and rubs her head] Ohhh...

Back when we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store.

Always sassafrassing customers with their boomy-boxes and disrespectful short pants. So we decided to up and ban them. But they retaliated with their newfangled rap music.

The lyrics were so hateful.

Homework's whack, and so are rules. Tucking in your shirt's for fools.

Dipper

We need to just learn to hate each other in silence.

Robbie

You mean, like what girls do?

Dipper

All right, it took all day, but I converted it to a record. And now we can slow it down to see if the mind-control message theory is correct. Prepare to have your mind blown.

Stan

Spit-take, here I come. [sips Pitt Cola]

Stan

Hmm... that's not spit worthy. What gives?

Dipper

What? Is that it? [fiddles with the speed] Ugh, This was so stupid! Course there's no hidden mind-control messages. Mabel was right. Wendy just likes the song. She just likes Robbie.

Wendy

[entering with Robbie] Hey, Dip. Forgot my keys.

Robbie

What's up, junior? What are you doing? Trying to come up with an equation to make girls like you? [laughs]

Wendy

Ready to go to Lookout Point?

Robbie

Heh, am I. [leaving with her] Later, dorks. Catch ya on the rewind. [chuckles] I made that up.

Stan

I'll rewind your FACE!

Dipper

Wait a minute. Stan, rewind!

Stan

[spits soda into Dipper's face] Holy mackerel! Now there's your spit-take!

Dipper

Ha ha! I knew it! It's mind control after all! Oh no! I've got to save Wendy!

Stan

Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face! Let's roll!

Robbie

[after Wendy breaks up with him] Oh, man.

Stan

Look, if it makes you feel better, the apocalypse is coming soon. Bury your gold. You've been buying gold, right?

Wendy

My dawgs! What up?

Mabel

Wendy, what are you doing here?

Wendy

Ugh, high school registration.

Mabel

Ooh! You know, I'm only a year away from high school myself. Would you say your experience is more "rom-com", or "wacky romp"?

Wendy

More like "teen horror movie". High school is the worst. Classes get super-hard, your body just flat out turns against you, and worst of all, everybody hates you!

Can't do it! CAN'T DO ANOTHER YEAR!

Robbie

My hormones are like a SWEATY CAGE!

Mabel

Why aren't they singing about following their dreams? TV taught me that high school was like some sort of musical.

Wendy

TV lied, man! If you can avoid growing up, do it! I'd give anything to be twelve again.