[As Bill Cipher towers over Gravity Falls and its citizens]
All right, listen up, you one-lifespan, three-dimensional, five-sense skin puppets! For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for a new universe to call my own. Name's Bill. But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity.
[he melts the statue of Nathaniel Northwest]
Now meet the gang of interdimensional criminals and nightmares I call my friends. [as various creatures come out of the scar in the sky] 8 Ball. Kryptos. The being whose name must never be said. Haha, what the heck? It's Zanthar. Then, of course, there's also Teeth, Keyhole, Hectorgon, Amorphous Shape, Pyronica, Paci-Fire and these guys. This is our town now, boys! [all his friends start cackling out loud]
Now see here, you unholy triangle fella! As mayor, I strongly urge you to git... git on out of here!
Yeah! Things with one eye are weird!
We don't like out-of-towners!
[ripping a mailbox in half] AND WE PUNCH WHAT WE DON'T UNDERSTAND!
I would just like to say that as a rich capitalist, I welcome your tyrannical rule. Perhaps I could be one of your... Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
Dad!
Not now, sweetie. The grownups are talking.
Oh, wow, that's a great offer. How 'bout instead, I shuffle the functions of every hole in your face?
[He clicks his fingers, and Mr. Northwest's face is suddenly grotesquely mixed up; he falls to the ground, giving out muffled screams as his family watches in horror; Bill cackles as people flee, and turns Deputy Durland to stone]
Durland! My precious Deputy Durland, no! [one of the "Eye-Bats" transports Durland away]
It's time we do a little redecorating! I could really use a castle of some kind! [causes a pyramid to form and float in the sky] And how about some bubbles of PURE MADNESS?! [summons colourful bubbles; one passes through Sprott, making him scream madly and rip his shirt apart] This party never stops! Time is dead and meaning has no meaning! Existence is upside-down and I reign supreme! Welcome, one and all, to WEIRDMAGEDDON!
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