Professor Hubert Farnsworth quotes from Futurama

Professor Farnsworth

Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

Professor Farnsworth

But I like being old. I don't have to talk to my parents, no one asks me to help move their stuff, I don't need to understand today's "edgy" TV sitcoms

Professor Farnsworth

Fifty-three years old? Oh... now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultraporn!

Professor Farnsworth

With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!

Professor Farnsworth

You've fallen into the final debilitating stages of womanhood.

Professor Farnsworth

Oh Lordy Lou, HELP! Buddha, Zeus, God! One of you guys do something! Help! Satan, you owe me!

Professor Farnsworth

Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

It's the Apocalypse all right. I always thought I'd have a hand in it.

Professor Farnsworth

Fry, what in Sega Genesis happened?

Prof. Farnsworth

Yet thanks to my trusty safety sphere, I surblibed with only tirbial brain dablige.

Prof. Farnsworth

I don't like the looks of this V-GINY.

Professor Farnsworth

These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are.

Prof. Farnsworth

Back when I was full of piss and vinegar and my bed wasn't, I fell in love with the sweetest girl ever to skip though a field of posies.

Professor Farnsworth

I hate these nerds. Just because I'm stupider than them they think they're smarter than me.

Farnsworth

I got a feeling this could be exactly the point in time we've been looking for.

Farnsworth

Nope.

Farnsworth

In fact, all life is extinct.