Professor Hubert Farnsworth quotes from Futurama

Prof. Farnsworth

I'm sad now.

Prof. Farnsworth

Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court!

Prof. Farnsworth

I suppose I could part with one and still be feared…

Prof. Farnsworth

No showboarding, you atomic hot dog!

Prof. Farnsworth

What the...? Did everything just jump around, or did my brain just scold off there for a second?

Prof. Farnsworth

At this rate, by Tuesday it will be Thursday, by Wednesday it will be August, and by Thursday it will be the end of existence as we know it!

Professor Farnsworth

Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you.

Prof. Farnsworth

Your grandfather?! Stay away from him, you dim-witted monkey! You mustn't interfere with the past! Don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to do it, in which case for the love of God, don't not do it!

Professor Farnsworth

I'll ruin you like I ruined this company!

Professor Farnsworth

This isn't a business. I've always thought of it more of a source of cheap labour, like a family.

Prof. Farnsworth

You're right, Ricardo; a ship in a bottle! What's that? Hang on, I'll look. [noticing that Dr. Zoidberg broke the ship in a bottle earlier]

Prof. Farnsworth

Good news anyone! The Swedish robot from Pi-kea is here with the super collider I ordered.

Prof. Farnsworth

Bad news, nobody! The super-collider super-exploded. I need you to take it back and exchange it for a wobbly CD rack and some of those rancid meatballs.

Prof. Farnsworth

[frustrated, after members of the crew repeatedly attempt to jump into magma to save Bender, thus ignoring his warnings] Professor. Lava. Hot!!!!

Prof. Farnsworth

A billion robots' lives are going to be extinguished! Ooh, the Jedis are going to feel this one...

Professor Farnsworth

I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now I have to pay them!