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S3

Futurama · Season 3

“I Dated a Robot” quotes from Futurama

14 quotes

“I Dated a Robot” · Season 3

In this episode: Philip J. Fry (5), Bender (4), Turanga Leela (4), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (4), Zoidberg (2), Zapp Brannigan (1), Narrator (1)

[In outer space]

You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.

[Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins]

CSClyde Smith

Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven! [wins again] A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in Hell!

SCSebastian Cabot

No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane! [unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]

CClyde

There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!

CCabot

Why should I believe you, you're Hitler! [pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection is indeed Hitler]

CClyde

No! [turns to a woman sitting next to him] Eva Braun! Help me!

[The woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly. Clyde screams]

Eh, saw it coming.

How can you guys be so blasé? Here we are in the year three-hundred-or-so, yet you're just sitting around like it's the boring time I came from.

Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome, and boy bands roamed the earth?

[At the edge of the universe, Fry sees alternative versions of himself and his friends on the other side, dressed as cowboys]

Far out! So there really is an infinite number of universes?

No, just the two.

RDRobot Designer

Can I interest you in Gwyneth Paltrow?

Nah, I read in Newsweek that she drinks human blood.

AAuctioneer

Are there no further bids for this exquisite galaxy? Sold! To the being of inconceivable horror!

BIBeing of Inconceivable Horror

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! [pause] Will a money order be okay?

AAuctioneer

Yes.

BIBeing of Inconceivable Horror

MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Oh, Lucy! You're just like I always thought you'd be from your movies.

LLiubot

My personality is mathematically derived from my movies, proportionally weighted by box office receipts.

Aaawww... you say the CUTEST things!

Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!

Bender, this is Fry's decision... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.

What is the world coming to? That Fry is a sicko poivert, I tell ya! Dating a robot... it's an attrocimacy!

But Fry is our friend, Bender.

Ah, geez! Would you stifle there, meatbag?

You stifle, Bender!

Hooray! Finally, you're standing up to him.

LLiubot

Oh, Fry, I love you more than the moon, the stars, the--POETIC IMAGE #36 NOT FOUND.

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