Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Leela

You went to college?

Bender

Of course. I'm a bender. I went to Bending College; I majored in Bending.

Fry

What was your minor?

Bender

Robo-American Studies.

Prof. Farnsworth

It's a little experiment that may well win me the Nobel Prize.

Leela

In what field?

Prof. Farnsworth

I don't care; they all pay the same.

Fry

OK, Leela, you'll be starring as Jenny--

Leela

Uh-uh, forget it. A, I'm camera shy; and B, I get tongue tied in front of an audience armed with death rays.

Amy

Plus, you don't really have the thighs for a miniskirt.

Leela

Gimme the script.

Leela

Hey, what's behind that door?

Nothing.

Leela

Is it the secret ingredient?

[singing] Grunka-Lunka-Dunkity-Dingredient!

Bender

[angrily] Okay, okay, we get the point!

Leela

I was just curious because of the armed guards.

[singing] Grunka-Lunka-Dunkity-Darmed-Guards...

Bender

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Leela

Are you alright?

Bender

Ah, it's nothing a lawsuit won't cure.

Leela

Not you. [She picks up Nibbler and looks in his mouth.] Aww, poor baby chipped a fang.

Bender

Hey, I got a busted ass here, I don't see anyone kissing it!

Zoidberg

Alright, I'm coming.

Leela

Bender, I thought you were supposed to be cooking for this party.

Bender

Fine, we'll have rack of Nibbler!

Leela

Just make a simple cake, and this time if someone's going to jump out of it, make sure you put them in after you cook it.

Bender

You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?

Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you!

Leela

No. We're on the top.

Fry

Daylight and everything.

It must be wonderful.

Bender

Meh.

Zapp Brannigan

Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.

Leela

I never loved you.

Zapp Brannigan

I meant physically. Just let me work for a little food. I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors.

Leela

You don't know how to do any of those things.

Zapp Brannigan

Kif might!

Fry

It's not like one vote ever made a difference.

Leela

That's not true. The first robot president won by exactly one vote.

Bender

Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.

Prof. Farnsworth

But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.

Leela

There's a political debate on! Quick, change the channel!

Bender

Hey, that's what Fry said when we turned on the debate.

Fry

Leela, I got a plan.

Leela

I got a better plan.

Fry

This snow is beautiful. I'm glad global warming never happened.

Leela

Actually, it did. But thank God nuclear winter canceled it out.

Fry

It really puts you in the Christmas mood.

Prof. Farnsworth

What-mas?

Fry

Christmas! You know, X-M-A-S.

Leela

Oh, you mean "Xmas"! You must be using an archaic pronunciation, like when you say "ask" instead of "axe".

Leela

Fry's outside? He's in great danger!

Dr. Zoidberg

Why?

Leela

I'm telling you why! Because Santa Claus is coming to town!

Prof. Farnsworth

[spoken] Now let's all of us shut up and sing!

Amy

[singing] He knows when you are sleeping,

Prof. Farnsworth

[singing] He knows when you're on the can,

Leela

[singing] He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.

Dr. Zoidberg

[singing] Oh,

Hermes

[singing] You'd better not breathe, you'd better not move,

Bender

[singing] You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.

Fry

[singing] Santa Claus is gunning you down!

Prof. Farnsworth

Merry Xmas, everyone!