SEStudio executive
[during Single Female Lawyer as Fry spilled beer onto the controls] Oh, my God! You knocked FOX off the air!
Like if anyone on Earth cares.
“When Aliens Attack” · Season 1
In this episode: Zapp Brannigan (7), Philip J. Fry (6), Amy Wong (3), Lrrr (3), Bender (2), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (2), Kif Kroker (2), Turanga Leela (1)
The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.
BBBeach Bully
Huh, err, sir, you don't understand. I'm a professional beach bully. I pretend to steal your girl, you punch me, I go down, she swoons, you slip me 50 bucks.
50 bucks? Not even if she was my girlfriend. You take her!
The alien mother-ship is in orbit here. If we can hit that bulls-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
[having just seen another massive spaceship appear] What the hell is that thing?!
It appears to be the mother ship.
Then what did we just blow up?
[Kif checks the star chart]
The Hubble Telescope.
[The real alien mothership appears and it starts easily destroying the ships]
Stop exploding, you cowards!
When I'm in command, every mission is a suicide mission.
[Fry and Bender recline with open beverages in the employee break room. Hermes walks in reading a stack of papers.]
What in the name of Bob Marley's ghost? Get to work, you lazy boatbag!
[He rolls up the papers and hits Bender with them.]
Ow! [Fry chuckles. Hermes hits Fry next.]
Oof! Hey, quit it, Hermes! It's Labor Day.
Labor Day?! That phoney-baloney holiday crammed down our throats by fat-cat union gangsters?
That's the one.
Hot damn, a day off!
[Hermes removes his jacket and dress shirt and sits between Fry and Bender, accepting a beer.]
Our mission is clear: Destroy all alien lifeforms.
Um...not me, sir.
Right. Nobody destroy Kif. Unless you have to.
OK, Leela, you'll be starring as Jenny--
Uh-uh, forget it. A, I'm camera shy; and B, I get tongue tied in front of an audience armed with death rays.
Plus, you don't really have the thighs for a miniskirt.
Gimme the script.
Surely you know McNeal! She is an unmarried human female struggling to succeed in a human male's world!
Maybe that's just her excuse for being incompetent.
SILENCE!
We will raise your planet's temperature by one million degrees a day, FOR FIVE DAYS, unless we see McNeal at 9pm tomorrow - 8 Central!
There. How do I look?
Like a cheap French harlot.
French?!
They must just wanna see that episode. Let's find a tape and give it to 'em.
There aren't any copies left.
No, there wouldn't be. Most videotapes from that era were damaged in 2443 during the Second Coming of Jesus.
Attention, McNeil. We are reasonably satisfied with the events we have seen. Overall I would rate it a C+. Okay, not great. As a result, we will not destroy your planet. But neither will we provide you with our recipe for immortality!
Way to overact, Zoidberg!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.