“A Head in the Polls” quotes from Futurama

You're entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster or some kind of weird mirror. [involves a showering man and half-eaten piece of chicken] These are just examples. It could also be something much better. Prepare to enter The Scary Door. [the door opens, revealing the title card itself] As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on earth.

Finally, solitude. I can read books for all eternity. [His glasses fall off and break.] It's not fair! It's not fair! Wait, my eyes aren't that bad. I can still read the large print books. [His eyes fall out.] Aaah! It's not f-- Well, lucky I know how to read Braille. [His hands fall off.] Aaaaaaah! [Then his tongue falls out and finally his head comes off.] Hey, look at that weird mirror!

Fry

It's not like one vote ever made a difference.

Leela

That's not true. The first robot president won by exactly one vote.

Bender

Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.

Prof. Farnsworth

But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.

Bender

[about the binary code dream sequence] Whoa, what an awful dream. Ones and zeros everywhere, and I thought I saw a two!

Look here, you drugged-up communist! I paid for this body, and I'd no sooner return it than my Cocker-Spaniel dog, Checkers.

Arf!

SHUT UP, DAMMIT!!!

Morbo

Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates... Puny human no. 1, puny human no. 2, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.

Hello Morbo, how's the family?

Morbo

Belligerent and numerous.

Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family. [pulls a live baby out of his chest compartment and kisses it]

Great, first he steals my body, now he's touchin' my stuff!

Nixon with charisma? My god, I could rule the universe!

NIXON'S BACK!!

Morbo

All hail our gargantuan, cyborg president. May death come quickly to his enemies.

Bender

Game's over, losers! I have all the money!! Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!

Prof Farnsworth

The problem with both parties is they always want to give your tax dollars to the less fortunate.

Fry

The less fortunate get all the breaks!

Fry

You look different. Did you get a haircut?

Bender

No! I sold my body.

Prof. Farnsworth

Sold your body? Oh, Bender, I've been down that road. I know it's glamorous and the parties are great, but you'll end up spending every dollar you make on jewelry and skintight pants.

It's time for someone who has the courage to stand up and say, I'm against those things that everybody hates!

Now, I respect my opponent. I think he's a good man. But quite frankly... I agree with everything he just said!

Leela

There's a political debate on! Quick, change the channel!

Bender

Hey, that's what Fry said when we turned on the debate.

Fry

Leela, I got a plan.

Leela

I got a better plan.

[alongside the giant robot's body] Who's kicking around now? [rages across the White House] Knock knock! [smashes the White House into pieces, barging inside]