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“Mars University” · Season 1
In this episode: Philip J. Fry (8), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (8), Bender (4), Turanga Leela (4), Guenter (3)
Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
What you did to Guenter was cruel. At the risk of sounding like an after-school special, I think we learned who the real animal was today.
You mean peer pressure?
Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Well, in those days, Mars just was a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But UNLIKE Utah, it was eventually made livable, when the university was founded in 2636.
[While searching the jungle for Guenter]
Wow, the jungles on Mars look exactly like the jungles on Earth!
Jungles on Earth? [Laughs]
All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit... that's why I'm transferring to business school!
NOOOOOO!
[upon discovering that the robots in his fraternity, Robot House, are all nerds] Uh oh! NERDS!
DVDean Vernon
You robots are a disgrace to this university! Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, Robot House! Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House! Whenever a human corpse is desecrated...
Now I can explain that!
DVDean Vernon
[repeated line] Robot House!!
So you're saying that he just ran off in the middle of the exam?
All he handed in was a paper smeared with feces. He tied with Fry.
You went to college?
Of course. I'm a bender. I went to Bending College; I majored in Bending.
What was your minor?
Robo-American Studies.
[upon meeting Guenter] My roommate's a MONKEY?
[dryly] Brilliant deduction. You're a credit to your species.
You want a banana?
I don't eat bananas. I prefer banana-flavored energy bars made from tofu.
[narrows his eyes] I don't like you.
It's a little experiment that may well win me the Nobel Prize.
In what field?
I don't care; they all pay the same.
Hey, professor. What are you teaching this semester?
Same thing I teach every semester: The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it.
[writing] Mathematics of wonton burrito meals. I'll be there!
Please, Fry. I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.