Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Fry

Bye Leela. I'll come visit you when I'm all grown up.

Leela

[whispering] Bring beer.

Morris

No beer until you finish your tequila!

Leela

We're back from the mission!

Fry

Wh-What? You went without me?

Bender

You were looking up curse words in the dictionary. It seemed like a better use of your time.

Fry

But-- But I'm the delivery boy.

Leela

Don't worry. Everything went fine.

Bender

Better than usual!

Leela

We got medals!

Leela

You may not be the most important person in the universe, but I'm really glad to see you right now.

Fry

Then I am the most important person in the universe.

Fry

Yes!!

Leela

[as they take cover under the shelves] Those words are forbidden!

Fry

What words? Star Trek? [an alarm sounds]

Zapp Brannigan

The court will now hear some very sensual testimony from this court's ex-lover, Turanga Leela.

Leela

Go [beep] yourself.

Leela

For 100 Quatloos, who did the Captain maroon on Ceti Alpha V?

William Shatner

[He leaps up] KHAAAAAAAAAAN!

Fry

Uh... Khan?

Leela

Correct.

Leela

[crying] It's all my fault! He died because of me!

Farnsworth

[comforting] No, no, no, no, no, no. [shouting to Bender] I'm lying to make her feel better!

Leela

That proves it! Fry is alive somewhere and he's reaching me in my dreams!

Prof. Farnsworth

Bull-pies!

Leela

[Is lying on a table her head lying in a box] Is this some sort of brain scanner?

Prof. Farnsworth

Some sort, yes. In France, it's called a guillotine! [Pulls a lever]

Leela

AAGH!!! [Gets off the table just as the knife flies down and slices the box in half] Professor! Can't you examine my brain without removing it?

Prof. Farnsworth

Yes...very easily. [waves a device over Leela's head]

Leela

Maybe I am freaking out a little.

Bender

A little? You're screwier than my Aunt Rita. And she's a screw!

Leela

Uh, have you robot versions of you guys seen any extra Zoidbergs around here?

NEGATIVE. WILL-YOU-GO-OUT-WITH-ME.

Leela

Uh, ACCESS-DENIED.

[head explodes]

Prof. Farnsworth

There. That space-time eversion has given us their box and vice versa.

Leela

So, what you think you just explained to us is that–

Prof. Farnsworth

Correct! This box contains our own universe.

Fry

There but for the flip of a coin go we. So, um, Leela? Seeing how the universe wasn't destroyed, you wanna catch an ape fight? You know, together?

Leela

Well, I guess you deserve one more flip.

Fry

So, heads or tails?

Leela

Y'know, let's just say it's heads.

Farnsworth

Ready?

Farnsworth

and One, two, three, pull!

Farnsworth

There. That space-time eversion has given us their box and vice versa.

Leela

So, what you think you just explained to us is that--

Farnsworth

Correct! This box contains our own universe.

Hermes

Sweet honey bee of infinity!

Leela

Bender! Quit destroying the universe!

Bender

But...

Farnsworth

Yes, all that is and ever shall be is in that box. And the box itself is probably worth something too. We must cherish it, as we cherish every moment of our lives.

Leela

I'd like a pass to swim with Mushu.

Well, you asked the right guy. I'm the whale biologist. Though personally I hate whales. Especially Mushu.

Farnsworth

Don't tell me you believe in Bigfoot, you blithering ninny-hammer.

Fry

Of course I do. Bigfoot's my hero. Growing up, he was the celebrity I most identified with.

Dr. Zoidberg

Why?

Fry

'Cause he was a loner who hated the popular monsters, yet longed to be one.

Dr. Zoidberg

I can so relate to that.

Leela

Enough with the emotions. This isn't a fat camp.