Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Fry

Wait! Listen. I'm usually the first guy to toot my own lower horn--

Bender

I'll say! WOOOOO!

Fry

But in this case I-I just don't think it'll do any good.

Bender

That's what she said! WOOOOO!

Leela

Let's face it, you two have deep relationship problems that can't be solved by an aphrodisiac.

Fry

However huge it might be.

Lrrr

Uh, you'll wanna retreat to a safe 500-metre radius!

Leela

[as they flee] Well, Fry, it looks like you get to hold onto your lower horn.

Bender

As usual! WOOOOO! RUN AWAAAAY!

Leela

Hey, guys. You missed a great delivery to Space Earth. Where you been all afternoon?

Fry

At, uh, uh, a concert.

Leela

Ooh, was it jazz noodling? My ex-boyfriend Sean played the sax. I used to listen for hours while he sat naked on my couch and improvised.

Bender

So musicians really Rodger your Hammerstein, huh?

Leela

Yeah, it's weird; Sean was uneducated, unambitious. He was pasty and hunched--

Fry

[quietly] Pretty boy...

Leela

But when he played I could sense this incredible, beautiful creative soul. Then one day I found someone else's couch fibers on his butt.

Leela

Oh, Fry. All this time you've had this incredible gift and I never knew. I've been a fool. A fully-justified, prudent fool. [holds his new hands, then quickly draws them back] They're so cold...

Robot Devil

[shouting from street below them] And yet hell is so hot! [laughs briefly] Can I have my hands back now?

Fry

No!

Robot Devil

[sulkily] You're not nice!

Bender

Why did I do partying, I hate partying! [continues partying] WOO! More Partying!

Amy Wong

Quiet, Bender.

Professor Farnsworth

Cut it out.

Hermes Conrad

Shush!

Dr. Zoidberg

[mumbles gibberish]

Leela Leela

Bender, Shut the Hell Up!

Leela Leela

There's no room for two captain's butts in this chair!

There would be if you'd have taken a spin class instead of lounging around in a coma!

Leela

Come, Adam, partake of my forbidden fruit.

Zapp Brannigan

Thee will be done.

Leela

So long, overly-complicated Japanese toilet!

Please, not throw away. I give you, uh, happy poopy time!

Fry

Sorry, you know too much.

Bender

Dying sucks butt. How do you living beings cope with mortality?

Leela

Violent outbursts.

Amy

General sluttiness.

Fry

Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.

Prof. Farnsworth

Oh, I fear I may not survive this war re-enactment. I can’t believe we’re only 12 feet from the parking lot.

Fry

[Laughing.] This is every bit as fun as the real civil war.

Leela

Not the Civil War, private. We’re re-enacting the Sith-il War.

Fry

Sith? What the hoth?

Hermes

Leela! What in the name of Jah happened?

Leela

Too much papers! Not enough hiding plants!

Weren't you the loser who got stood up at my other restaurant?

Leela

Shut up and bring me two dinners!

Leela

I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn't make it.

Fry

That was the old Fry. He's dead now.

Leela

[Dresses cat in Nibbler's sailor suit] Admiral Cutiepaws reporting for duty... I mean, cutie!

Nibbler

My best friend died in that uniform.

Nibbler

Leela, it’s time you and I had a talk.

Leela

A talk? You can’t break up with me! You’re my pet!