Family Guy Season 22 quotes, page 2 ... TV Quotes Database

[Meg is in the Land of Oz, where the Wicked Witch of the East has been crushed by a house]

WWWicked Witch of the West

Now that my sister is dead, I must have her ruby slippers.

GGlinda

Oh, no. Those shoes now belong… [casts a spell on the slippers] …to Meg.

[The slippers appear on Meg's feet, but are too small to fit properly, crushing her feet]

Meg

AAAGGHH, FUCK!! We're not even CLOSE to the same size!!! Get 'em off!!! GET 'EM OFF!!! WAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!

AAnnouncer

In Oz, there's no place like home. For big women's shoes, there's no place like Kohl's. Kohl's: Yes, we DO have that in a wide.

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Peter

Listen, Meg, I'm glad you saved my life at the pool. But I'm sorry I came here in the first place. Everyone deserves a place of their own and I get that now. I promise I'll treat you better in the future.

Meg

You know, we've had conversations like this again, and again, and nothing ever changes. You're a terrible father! And I'm counting the days 'till I move out of this house.

Peter

Okay, but what if, in the spirit of inclusion, I tell you I love you in sign language?

[Peter attempts sign language, but the subtitles translate it as "Chase Bank funded the Dakota access pipeline."]

Meg

[touched] Oh, I love you, Dad! [hugs Peter]

Peter

[narration] But this never happened, because no one resuscitated me. I did wake up eventually, but now I need help feeding and bathing myself. I spend most of my days gettin' walked around by a nurse who talks to her sister on her phone.

NNurse

[offscreen] Whoa, hold up! Mom gave YOU the necklace?

Peter

That's her now.

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Family Guy Season 22 quotes

S22Lifeguard Meg