Bree Van de Kamp quotes from Desperate Housewives

Bree

It's the age old question, isn't it? How much do we really want to know about our neighbors?

Bree

Rex cries after he ejaculates.

Bree

I love to try out new recipes before the holidays. That way if the cookbook has it wrong, I can fix it.

Bree

How much longer is your mid-life crisis going to last because it's really starting to tick me off!

Bree

Andrew, Danielle! Daddy's going to fornicate for us!

Bree

Do me a favor, Rex. Please don't mistake my anal-retentiveness for actual affection.

Bree

We're WASPs, denying the white elephant in the room is what we do best.

Bree

Good friends offer to help in a crisis; great friends don't take no for an answer.

Bree

Think about how good men are at lying on the spot. Imagine if you gave them time and a pen.

Bree

Your father is into S&M. He makes me beat him with a riding crop. No wonder you're perverted. Look who your parents are.

Bree

(calmly) I have some news. Rex died.

Bree

(to Rex's corpse)You look magnificent.

Bree

My husband died of a heart attack. I loved him deeply. And your mother did a lousy job.

Bree

Would you two please stop looking at me like that?! Obviously, I did not kill your father. I loved him deeply.

Bree

The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care, and we're still connected... and I still have a chance to set you right.