Karen McCluskey quotes from Desperate Housewives

Karen McCluskey

"At least your husband tries to be romantic. Every anniversary, Gilbert bought me an appliance. On the last one, he gave me a vacuum cleaner. He died two weeks later. I didn't cry."

Karen McCluskey

[to Dave] So, how did you two meet? You run a free clinic or something?

Karen McCluskey

Karen McCluskey, Edie's best friend on the street.

Karen McCluskey

[to Dave] Stop screwing with me!

Karen McCluskey

How old are you?

Karen McCluskey

And how old are you?

5.

Karen McCluskey

Wow, your mother just pops them out, doesn't she?

How old are you?

Karen McCluskey

How old do you think?

150.

Karen McCluskey

[at the hospital] You guys didn't have to come here, no matter what that CAT scan says, I'm breakin' out tomorrow.

Lynette Scavo

Well Parker really wanted to come see you.

Karen McCluskey

[pats him on the head] Don't tell your brothers, you were always my favorite.

Karen McCluskey

[Smile fades from her face] Lynette, could you run down to the snack bar and get me some green jello?

Lynette Scavo

Oh, sure.

Karen McCluskey

OK, time for a little grown-up talk.

Karen McCluskey

So can you understand now why I had to do what I did?

Karen McCluskey

And you know you can never tell anyone, not even you mom?

Lynette Scavo

They didn't have jello, so I hope pudding is okay.

Karen McCluskey

Ya know, lets give it to Parker, good boy like him deserves a treat.

[Parker sees kids painting 'witch' on Mrs. McCluskey's door] What's going on? [sees it] Hey don't do that!

Why not?

Because she's not a witch!

How do you know?

Cause she isn't! Don't be a jerk!

Shut up!

Karen McCluskey

Hey you boys, knock it off!

Karen McCluskey

[puts her arm on Parker's shoulder] Parker I'm sorry. Are you all right?

[He pulls his shoulder away] Ya know, everything would be okay if you told people what you told me. You can make them stop.

Karen McCluskey

[Parker rings Mrs. McCluskey's doorbell] Would ya stop ringing that damn... I'm sorry Parker, I thought you where one of those little pissheads that keeps ringing the doorbell and running away. What's on your mind?

I want you to come back and babysit us, the new sitter stinks!

Karen McCluskey

Your folks hired a new sitter?

Yeah, and she thinks carrots are snacks!

Karen McCluskey

Well that's rough. But life's like that sometimes.

It doesn't have to be. If you just told people what happened with your husband, everything could go back to the way it was.

Karen McCluskey

Parker, see those women over there. Nothing I could say could stop those tongues from wagging. I'm sorry kid but I just have to wait this one out

Tom

"Surely you can control five little kids."

Karen McCluskey

"Can I beat them?"

Tom

"No."

Karen McCluskey

"Then my hands are tied."

Edie Britt

Mrs. McCluskey, you're still alive!

Karen McCluskey

It's nice to see you too, Edie. How long has it been? Five years?

Karen McCluskey

You planned this whole thing. The party... breaking into my house... my reaction. You're trying to get rid of me.

Dave Williams

Yes... and I'm sorry it had to be you.

Karen McCluskey

'Cause I know you're up to something. Something awful.

Dave Williams

You don't know what "awful" is. Well... you take care of yourself, Karen. I mean that.

Mary Alice

(opening scene about Lynette) Lynette Scavo had lost a lot of sleep over the years. There had been 3 AM feedings... temperatures of 102... and late night pillow fights. But Lynette had never complained, because a mother is always on call.

Lynette

(while speaking to Mrs. Mcluskey) The whole point of this was to get them to grow up and take care of themselves; they just moved from my boob to yours!

Karen

I don't care what gets Roy's fire going, as long as I'm the one who puts it out.

You had a big imagination, most likely from all those trashy books and magazines you used to bring into class.

Can we get our security deposit back?