Gabrielle Solis quotes from Desperate Housewives

Gabrielle

Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning the house.

Gabrielle

(to Ashley, about kissing,) And some people kiss their friends, it's like a high-five on the lips!

Gabrielle

You're the man of the house? You can't even leave it.

Gabrielle

John, you're a toy. A sweet dumb toy. So you might as well go to college, because me and you? No future!

Gabrielle

I've tried poor but happy. Guess what? Wasn't that happy!

Gabrielle

As I see it, good friends avoid each other after being humiliated, but great friends pretend nothing happened in the first place.

Gabrielle

Because, one day, when the time is right, we're gonna tell him how he drove me right into your arms, and that's gonna kill him. And tonight, just whatever you do, don't call me beautiful.

Gabrielle

Carlos cut up all my credit cards. I'm married and I can't shop which is the worst of all of all possible worlds.

Gabrielle

Say what you want, but John Rowland loved me like no one ever has. Not as a trophy or as a possession, but for me. He loved me.

Gabrielle

No, he really did. Let me count the ways. Um, gently, savagely, frequently, upside down...

Gabrielle

You and I need to get laid! (everyone in the visiting room looks at her, astonished) Oh, don't judge me. You're not here because you got caught helping the poor.

Gabrielle

[about Ellie] There have been men coming out of her room at all hours of the night. And I saw her counting a wad of cash.

Gabrielle Solis

What: Mommy rides Daddy like a mechanical bull for jewelry?

Gabrielle Solis

Juanita, stop talking to your sister!

Gabrielle Solis

Susan, if you're not sure what Jessie meant by it, why don't you just talk to her?

Gabrielle Solis

Okay, we're going to figure this out for you. Were her eyes open or shut?