(calmly) I have some news. Rex died.
“Next” · Season 2
In this episode: Bree Van de Kamp (5), Gabrielle Solis (2), Carlos Solis (1), Andrew Van De Kamp (1), Danielle (1)
BBetty
(to Bree) We widows have to stick together.
MMatthew
I was just trying to cover up.
BBetty
I know you were but next time leave the cleverness to me.
I can't believe you had an affair.
Well, you tampering with my birth control pills was a lot worse than that.
We're not very nice people, are we?
No.
When we got married I thought we were gonna be so happy.
Me too. But look on the bright side. At least we're still rich.
Thank God for that.
(Susan, Lynette, & Gabrielle are wondering why Bree is acting so calm about Rex's death)
I can't afford to break down right now.
Why?
(Rex's mother, Phyllis, comes around in a taxi sobbing)
You're about to find out.
(Phyllis has been rude to Bree)
You are no longer invited to the funeral.
PVPhyllis Van De Kamp
What?!?
I will have security guards at the door of the church with sticks and they will be assigned to beat you with those sticks if you do so much as enter.
RSReverend Sikes
Bree, this is your grief talking.
Reverend, if you don't back me up on this, I will take the funeral away from your church.
RSReverend Sikes
Bree!
I'm not kidding. I will get non-denominational so fast it will make your head spin.
Mom, Grandma's leaving.
I know. She's been uninvited to the funeral.
Why?
If only you heard all the nasty things she said to me.
Look, I'm sure she was a real bitch, but she's family, so that makes her our bitch. Let her say goodbye to Dad.
(crying) Mom, if you don't invite Grandma to the funeral I'll never forgive you!
(to Danielle) Did I ask for your help? (back to Bree) I'm sure Dad would've wanted her there.
(to Rex's corpse)You look magnificent.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Desperate Housewives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.