Susan Delfino quotes from Desperate Housewives

Susan

(about borrowing the car) It's no big deal. It's only for a couple of hours. I let you borrow my eggs for a whole year!

Susan

(to Bongo, Mike's dog) If you came in here to judge me, you can just leave. (Bongo turns around) No! Wait! Don't go!

Susan

(to Bongo) What is wrong with you? Lassie would have had a fire truck here by now! Stupid dog. (Bongo runs out) Good boy Bongo! Go get help! (Bongo brings back a dead bird) Ohh...ew!

Susan

Mike, guess what? I love you.

Susan

I guess I should go take a shower and wash Mrs. Huber off me.

Susan

Well, I'm adorable crazy. And he's rampage crazy.

Susan

Oh, and when you find it, you have to read it, because I promised her that I would always respect her privacy. Now help me flip this mattress.

Susan

"We're not inviting you to poker, we're not talking to you, we're not even gonna wave when you jog by. From now on, you are invisible" (Talking to Edie)

Susan

[to a dying Edie] Don't worry Edie, you're gonna be just fine.

Susan

Oh, no, no, no, no. Y-you can't take him now!

Susan

Please, can't this wait? We're about to get married!

Susan

Oh, please, if I were gonna kill you, I wouldn't do it in my own front yard. I'd sneak into your house and shoot you while you were asleep.

Susan

Not that I would ever do that.

Susan

You know what, I'm glad I didn't let Mike do this because I'm really enjoying it.

Susan

Oh, and enjoy those raisin muffins. I hope they're all raisins - my apartment has rats.