I am not going to have a baby until I'll know I'll be a good parent.
Taking care of Carla's kids is not going to prove you're a good parent. It just proves you can survive in the wild.
S10 E6Unplanned Parenthood
People. People. We cannot impose our own moral belief systems on these two.
Yes, thank you very much.
The real question is, will they make responsible parents?
That's right.
And the answer is an emphatic no.
S10 E7Bar Wars V: The Final Judgement
Frasier, we need to have a discussion.
oh no, don't tell me you have a thing against Halloween too.
I don't have a thing against Halloween. I just don't want my child panhandling door to door accepting non-nutritious snacks from strangers dressed in a silly costume.
But darling, that is Halloween.
Oh well, then I guess I do have a thing against it.
I think you guys should just call it off. I mean I think it's childish.
Excuse me. Childish? Sweetheart, this is bar versus bar. We will use any weapons available to us; water balloons, stink bombs, whoopee cushions, and fake vomit. Yes fake vomit. Now how childish is it?
S10 E8Where Have All the Floorboards Gone?
Hey what's going on, Normie?
It's my birthday Sammy. Give me a beer, stick a candle in it, and I'll blow out my liver.
Frasier, I've got to run. I'm having my photograph taken for a new ID badge at the lab.
Are you going to get your hair done for that?
Why on earth should I?
Well at least get the tension on that bun checked. I mean if that baby goes, we are dead!
That hardly seems just, coming from a woman whose hair has never seen a greasy pot it couldn't scrub clean.
S10 E9Head Over Hill
What are you doing down here, Hill? Hair Club for Men meeting?
Oh I didn't see you down there Miss Tortelli. Although frankly, [sniffs] you do announce your presence.
So have you decided what color you're going to dye your head for Easter?
Why don't you just scuttle under the office door and get Sam?
[Yelling in Mr. Hill's face] SAM! HILL'S HERE!
Hey Mr. P, how goes the search for Mr. Clavin?
Not as well as the search for Mr. Doughnut. I found him every couple of blocks.
S10 E10A Fine French Whine
I am being kicked out. Just because I am not a citizen and I have no job and I have no prospect for a job and I have no wish for a job.
Wait a minute. They can kick you out for that?
No, no relax. You were born here.
God bless America.
You're wrong Kelly. He's using you. He wrote that letter himself. He's not going to be deported. He's just trying to steal you away from me.
How did you figure that out?
You mean I'm right? Wow. Score one for the Indiana school system.
S10 E11I'm Okay, You're Defective
You've been with thousands of women over the years, right?
Yeah right.
How many cards do you get on Father's Day?
That doesn't mean anything.
Sammy sooner or later you're gonna have to face the possibility that whether you like it or not you might just possibly have a low sperm count.
You're fired!
Where's Norm and Cliff?
I guess they're at work. I don't know.
You've got a cute sense of humor, Woody. I like that.
S10 E12Go Make
Hey sweetheart, what do you think? If it's a boy we name it Sam.
Oh I don't know. You know I always thought that naming a child after yourself was saying you wanted them to grow up just like you, like the things you like, to act the way you do.
Okay, Sam it is.
I sense the mood of the bar. You're all suffering from the winter blues; the shortened daylight hours, the cold numbing weather, the bleak sense of isolation. It's what we in the psychiatric professions call, the jackpot.
S10 E13Don't Shoot... I'm Only the Psychiatrist
You know when I was a kid I was the first one in my class to, you know, develop breasts. They teased me the whole year.
Oh yeah? Me too.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.