Rebecca Howe quotes from Cheers

Rebecca

[to Sam] Alright, I'll give you another chance. But I want to make something very clear - you've just got one chance left, and as far as I'm concerned, again, in baseball-ese: bottom of the 9th, you've got 2 outs, 2 strikes...and no balls.

Rebecca

Isn't it amazing how Carla's labor pains always seem to coincide with Celtic home games?

Rebecca

Fine. I'm going to show people who are a little less self-absorbed. Hey, everyone! Look at me! Look at me!

Diane

[about her friend, Rebecca] Sam. That woman over there is a dear friend of mine. Now she is going through a very difficult period. So whatever she asks you, please, just say no.

Sam

[confused] What?

Diane

No.

Rebecca

[approaching Sam and Diane] Diane?

Diane

Yes?

Rebecca

Would you excuse us a moment?

Diane

Fine.

Rebecca

Would you object to joining me in my hotel room for a afternoon of wild animal passion?

Sam

[loudly so that Diane can hear] No!

Sam

What's your name?

Rebecca

Does it matter?

Sam

[loudly so that Diane can hear] No!

Sam

[about Diane] I was afraid I was going to walk in here today and see her face everywhere I looked. Instead what I saw was all these silly changes you made.

Rebecca

I happen to think it's...

Sam

No, no, it's good. It helped me. What I'm trying to say is this place is the closest thing I have close to a real home. I want to come back. Please.

Rebecca

I'm very sorry, Mr. Malone. I wish I could help.

Rebecca

Well you used to be the boss. How did you feel when people lied to you?

Sam

I had a rule, when anyone ever lied to me they had to go to bed with me.

Rebecca

That's one way to make sure it won't happen again.

Cliff

Pardon my appearance everybody.

Rebecca

We always do. Sorry I was covering for Carla.

Rebecca

Did you get a chance to see Carla's babies?

Sam

They're two of the cutest little guys you've ever seen.

Rebecca

Who do they look like, Carla or Eddie?

Woody

Well they're twins, they kind of look like each other.

Lilith

I have a small favor to ask regarding our impending wedding. since all of my close friends will be out of town and we have had a previous conversation and our eyes have met on a number of occasions I was wondering if you'd consent to be my maid of honor.

Rebecca

Oh I'm very flattered. I guess so. Sure Lila.

Lilith

Lilith.

Rebecca

Right right. I knew that.

Rebecca

Sam, he (the critique) wants me to compromise myself

Sam

Honey,we all do.

Rebecca

[Sarcastic] Rah, rah, rah.

Sam

Hey, you know, I never knew that you were a cheerleader. Although I've always admired your pom poms.

Rebecca

Excuse me Sam, I'm being beckoned.

Sam

Listen, if this is what you think it is, can I give you some advice?

Rebecca

What?

Sam

If you're going to make an ass of yourself, take it outside.

Sam

Speaking of Mercedes, I'm kind of known as the Mercedes of guys.

Rebecca

Really? I always thought you were more of a cheap pickup with a headlight missing.

Rebecca

[about Sam] What does it mean when you can't turn on the horniest guy that ever lived? I am really getting old.

Carla

Rebecca, will you stop being ridiculous? You're still a young, beautiful, vibrant woman with her whole life ahead of her.

Rebecca

You're just saying that.

Carla

Yes, I am. I was taught to humor old folks.

Rebecca

What the hell's in the box?

Woody

Those are my bees, Miss Howe.

Rebecca

Enough said.

Woody

Can I keep them in there until the end of the day?

Rebecca

Sure, anything you want. In my mood I'll agree to anything.

Sam

Sounds like my cue.