[To Rebecca, after he learns she burned down the bar] Of all the stupid things you've done in your useless life... this is your masterpiece.
S11 E1The Little Match Girl
I guess we've seen the dark side of Sam Malone.
You wanna see a dark side; you ought to see Ma when you leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub. That's something you don't do twice.
S11 E2The Beer Is Always Greener
[at Mr. Pubb's]Look at all the neon in here.
It looks like the inside of a UFO.
Actually they're quite different... I guess.
S11 E3The King of Beers
This is what we losers do, Norm. At least we're not alone, we have each other.
You're not gonna kiss me again are you?? Cause I still have to drive home.
I'm not a loser! Norm's a loser. Look at him eating ice cream.
Hey guys...did Rebecca just call me a loser?
I'm afraid so, Norm.
Good...I thought she said leave me some!
S11 E4The Magnificent Six
I win? France has won! France has won!
There's something you never hear.
S11 E5Do Not Forsake Me, O' My Postman
What do you want to do tonight, Cliff?
Eh, I dunno, what do you want to do?
I dunno.
You guys, you do this all day long for hours!
Face it Rebecca, we're bored, nothing ever happens around here.
[enter Andy Andy covered in dynamite]
[gasps] Oh my God!
Hey, it's Andy Andy.
What, you know this person?!
Yeah, former major felon. Once killed a waitress.
AAAndy Andy
Where's Diane? I demand to see Diane!!!
Well, Miss Chambers hasn't worked here for 5 or 6 years.
AAAndy Andy
Oh really? Well, okay.
[walks out]
So, what do you want to do?
[Rebecca turns around and gives them a look of disbelief]
S11 E6Teaching with the Enemy
What's a Fruedian slip?
It's when you say one thing and mean a mother.
I know. I'll simply imagine the worst thing you could possibly tell me, and whatever your news is, it will pale in comparison. In fact, whatever it is, it, it'll be a relief! Okay, okay...what is the worst thing I can imagine?
[Pause.]
All right, I've got it. Lilith, your news please.
This afternoon, in a moment of EXTREME weakness...I cheated on you.
THAT WAS IT!! THAT WAS THE WORST THING!!!!
Try to remain calm!
How can I remain calm when you tell me you've slept with another man?! You SLUT!!!
S11 E7The Girl in the Plastic Bubble
Well, I'm off. I don't know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I only hope I can realize my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had.
Like a body temperature?
That's very good, Carla. Incidentally, I've taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I'll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint.
Well, that was just rude.
I"M GOING TO JUMP, LILITH!!!
Normy, come on, will you? The buddy of ours is on the ledge, he's about to jump to his death. Let's go!
Jeez, you're right. I'd better go move my car.
S11 E9Feelings... Whoa, Whoa, Whoa
JAJohn Allen Hill
Ah, Miss Tortelli... is that a new hairdo, or did someone toss a toaster in your bathtub? What am I saying - what would you be doing in a bathtub?
Cleaning you out of the drain.
JAJohn Allen Hill
Yeasty oil slick!
Bladder polyp!
JAJohn Allen Hill
Man witch!
Perverted goat boy!
JAJohn Allen Hill
Sluttish mole!
Seven o'clock tonight?
JAJohn Allen Hill
Make it 6:30.
[after the gang hears that John Allen Hill had a heart attack] Should we visit him at the hospital? Who wants to go? Come on you guys... he's our neighbor... we know him. We should see him in the hospital.
Rebecca, it's not like he's our best friend or anything.
Norm, that's not the point. The point is you have to pretend to be nice to people - that's what makes you a good person.
S11 E10Daddy's Little Middle-Aged Girl
[Franklin "Brig" Howe has sent Rebecca to pack her things]
H"Brig" Howe
In the meantime, I'll just stay here and wait. Give me a beer.
[shows his empty mug] Sir, did I ever tell you that I was in the Coast Guard?
H"Brig" Howe
Coast Guard, huh? Well you must be very proud, Miss.
So, buy a girl a drink?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.