[to Rebecca] The way I see it, you haven't had a date with a guy for about two and half years. Now I think this date of ours could be good for me but sweetheart, I got to say it's looking real necessary for you.
S7 E1How to Recede in Business
Speaking of Mercedes, I'm kind of known as the Mercedes of guys.
Really? I always thought you were more of a cheap pickup with a headlight missing.
S7 E2Swear to God
[about Sam] What does it mean when you can't turn on the horniest guy that ever lived? I am really getting old.
Rebecca, will you stop being ridiculous? You're still a young, beautiful, vibrant woman with her whole life ahead of her.
You're just saying that.
Yes, I am. I was taught to humor old folks.
So believe it or not I've given up sex entirely. But you've got to promise not to tell anyone.
Well Sam, confidentiality is the bedrock of my profession. Besides, who'd believe it?
Yeah, it's a genetic quirk in the Clavin family that we all have two extra teeth. You see, that's the only way we can prove we are the rightful heirs to the Russian throne.
Hello in there, Cliff. Tell me, what color is the sky in your world?
S7 E3Executive Sweet (1)
What the hell's in the box?
Those are my bees, Miss Howe.
Enough said.
Can I keep them in there until the end of the day?
Sure, anything you want. In my mood I'll agree to anything.
Sounds like my cue.
[to Rebecca] Let's try this. Have sex with me 25 times and if the end of the night you're still not sure then I won't say another thing.
S7 E4One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape (2)
[about Martin] How does a guy so young get to be so incredibly powerful?
I just try to maintain a cheerful attitude and try not abuse my position.
I hate to change the subject but I don't know if anyone recognizes, we seem to have a little problem here.
Oh you need another beer, Mr. Peterson.
Okay we have two problems here.
S7 E5Those Lips, Those Ice
You must be gettin' pretty excited.
Yeah, I thought that ice show would never get back to Boston. It has been tough. He [Eddie] misses me. The kids miss him. Not to mention that I happen to be at my sexual peak.
You've been there since you were 12.
When you find a place you like, why leave it?
Hey, are the kids home? I haven't talked to them since I got back. I want to give them a call.
Oh yeah go ahead. Just make sure you identify yourself by name. Just saying "It's dad" leaves too much confusion.
S7 E6Norm, Is That You?
You should be decorating professionally.
Doing you folks a favor is one thing. Anymore of this interior decorating junk could really eat into my reputation as a lazy, beer-guzzling lump of mashed potatoes.
But Norm, you have a gift.
A gift? Try a curse, pal. I spent my whole damn life trying to cover up the fact that I have a great sense of color and I always know where to put the ottoman.
I can't go on with this any longer. I wanted to be your decorator so I pretended to be who I thought you wanted me to be but it's time I came out of the closet. I'm straight.
RRobert
Impossible.
Ever since I was a little boy I've known that I prefer girls. But the point is I think you should judge people for what they do not for who they do.
S7 E7How to Win Friends and Electrocute Yourself
[about their conversation] Yeah, why wasn't it the stupidest?
Well frankly it lacks meaningless statistics and inane historical trivia. Say where is Cliff anyway?
Yeah, is he still in the hospital?
I don't know. How's he doin'?
I thought you were gonna go see him.
Well I tried. I mean I got as far as the hospital lobby but you know that smell of alcohol makes me really queasy. [motions for a beer refill]
The Globe's doing an article on women who run pubs and now he wants to take my picture. I really dread this.
Why?
Because I get so tensed up in front of a camera. All of a sudden I look like something the cat coughed up.
Oooh, can I have an 8x10 for my mantlepiece?
How about a 2x4 for your bridgework?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.