Paul quotes from Cheers

Rebecca

[from the back room] I need somebody to talk to. Anybody. I really need some help. [Paul walks back and comes right back out] Not Paul!

Paul

I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.

Cliff

Well that Paul, is the history of Western Civilization in a nutshell. You were right to come to me.

Paul

I didn't come to you, Cliff. I was waiting to use the phone.

Sam

Hey, this had been driving me crazy. I got to know something Paul.

Paul

What Sam?

Sam

I'll try to put this as delicately as I can because you're my friend and I like ya and I don't want to insult ya. Why would any girl be caught dead with you when she could be with me?

Paul

You thought that would offend me?

Sam

I'm serious. What did you do? Slip her a mickey or something?

Paul

Well since you asked me so nicely Sam, I'll tell ya. Paula is what we like to refer to as a chubby chaser.

Sam

You're kidding. You mean she like to go out with guys who are uh...

Paul

Portly Sam. The word is portly.

Paul

Where's Norm and Cliff?

Woody

I guess they're at work. I don't know.

Paul

You've got a cute sense of humor, Woody. I like that.

Sam

That was the low point in my life. Never, ever, have I been naked and not had fun. I tell you it was degradation.

Woody

I thought we were a lot tighter the second show.

Paul

How am I ever gonna show my face in here again?

Norm

Paul, it's not your face that's burned into my memory.

Cliff

You know, I kinda found the whole thing, uh, quite exhilarating.

Norm

Exhilarating?

Cliff

I meant humiliating.