Cheers quotes

515 total quotes



Buzz: What if I bought this guy a beer?
Norm: Buy me a pitcher and you can kiss me on the lips.

Carla: [about gay men] I'm not exactly crazy about them. I mean I get enough competition from women. I'm tell you if guys keep coming out of the closet there isn't going to be anybody left to date and I'm going to have to start going out with girls. [looks at Diane] Ewww.
Diane: Carla, you don't have to worry about me. I like my dates a little more masculine than you. Not much but a little.

Carla: Hey Sam, you want me to hang around until your date gets here.
Sam: No, you probably want to get on home.
Carla: Are you kiddin'? It's two a.m., my kids might be there.

Carla: [to Eric] You cannot believe a word that comes out of your mouth. Ya know, if you could fix TVs and crack walnuts on your forehead, you could be my ex-husband.

Cliff: [to Eric] We swear not a word you say will ever go beyond this room.
Norm: We never go beyond this room.

Cliff: Carla made love to a PhD from MIT?
Coach: Hey look you guys, if you can't say it in front of me don't say it at all.

Coach: Beer, Norm?
Norm: That's that sudzy amber stuff, right? Been hearing good things about it.

Coach: How's life treating you Norm?
Norm: Like I ran over its dog.

Coach: It's the damnedest thing. I've been shivering all the way over here.
Diane: Well, Coach, you don't have a coat on. It's 30 degrees outside.
Coach: Oh, thank god. I thought I had malaria.

Coach: Let me give the sign.
Sam: I don't know, isn't it kinda tricky?
George: Well, he is the last person Harry would suspect to be in on anything clever.

Coach: My friends call me 'Coach', but my other nickname is 'Red'.
Helen: Why? Because your hair used to be red?
Coach: No, because I read a book.

Coach: Norm, you're in here every night, doesn't your wife ever wonder where you're at?
Norm: Wonders... doesn't care, but she wonders.

Coach: What can I do for you, Norm?
Norm: I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first one?

Coach: What'll it be Norm?
Norm: Fame, fortune, fast women.
Coach: How about a beer?
Norm: Even better.

Coach: What's going on, Norm?
Norm: Science is seeking a cure for thirst and I happen to be the guinea pig.