AngelI knew this was gonna happen.
What? What do you think is happening?
Angel
You're 16 years old, I'm 241.
Angel
You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want.
Oh, no, I, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.
Angel
Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.
One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel
I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel
[grabs her roughly] This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
No. When you kiss me I want to die.
Angel
Did... she have a date?
(to Angel) Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?? [Awkward beat.] Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've got to help Buffy.
Ta da. Just little old 20th-century me.
Angel
Sure you're okay?
Angel
I don't get it, Buffy. Why'd you think I'd like you better dressed that way?
I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.
Angel
Oh, ho.
Angel
I hated the girls back then. Especially the noblewomen.
Angel
They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone ... exciting. Interesting.
Angel
You know how.
Still, I had a really hard day. You should probably tell me.
Angel
You're right. I should.
Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?
Angel
Are you going to tell me that I'm jealous?
Well, you do sometimes get that way.
Angel
You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty ... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.
Angel
Do you love me?
Angel
Do you?
I love you. I don't know if I trust you.
Angel
Maybe you shouldn't do either.
Maybe I'm the one who should decide!
Angel
I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was ... an obsession of mine. She was pure, and sweet, and chaste.
And you made her a vampire.
Angel
First I made her insane. Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.
Well. I asked for the truth.
JJames
Come on, Mom. She's always late.
JJames
No. My mom's just supposed to pick me up, is all.
Do you want me to walk you home?
My mummy used to sing me to sleep at night. [singing] Run and catch, the lamb is caught in the blackberry patch. She had the sweetest voice. What will your mummy sing when they find your body?
JJames
I'm not supposed to talk to people.
Oh. Well, I'm not a person, see, so that's just--
Angel
Run home.
Angel
Hello, Drusilla.
Do you remember the song Mummy used to sing me? Pretty.
Angel
I remember.
Angel
Drusilla, leave here. I'm offering you that chance. Take Spike and get out.
Or you'll hurt me? No. No, you can't. Not anymore.
Angel
If you don't leave, it'll go badly. For all of us.
My dear boy's gone all away, hasn't he? To her.
Angel
Who?
The girl. The Slayer. Your heart stinks of her. Poor little thing. She has no idea what's in store.
Angel
This can't go on, Drusilla. It's got to end.
Oh, no, my pet. This is just the beginning.
So Mom's like, "Do you think Ted will like this?" and "This is Ted's favorite show", and "Ted's teaching me computers", and "Ted said the funniest thing", and I'm like, "That's really great, Mom", and then she said I was being sarcastic, which I was, but I'm sorry if I don't wanna talk about Ted all the time.
Angel
So, you gonna talk about something else at some point?
I'm sorry. I just have so much to deal with, I don't need some new guy in my life.
Angel
No, but maybe your mom does.
Well, sure, if you're gonna use wisdom.
Angel
Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is.
Okay, so my mom needs a guy in her life. Does it have to be Ted?
Angel
Do you have somebody else in mind? There's a guy out there that would satisfy you?
My dad? Yeah, okay, that's not gonna happen. Fine, fine, I'll give Ted a chance. I'll play mini-golf, and I'll smile and curtsy and be the dutiful daughter. Do I have to like him?
Angel
Kiss me.
Finally, something I wanna do!
[Buffy tells Angel about her dream, in which Drusilla kills him.]
Angel
Still, not every dream you have comes true. I mean, what else did you dream last night? Can you remember?
I dreamt ... I dreamt that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas.
Angel
You see my point?
[The Judge has captured both Buffy and Angel.]
Angel
Leave her alone!
That'll work. Now say pretty please.
Angel
Take me instead.
Apparently, you're not familiar with the concept. There is no instead, only firsts and seconds.
And if you go first, you don't get to watch the Slayer die.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer · 894 quotes
