I got you dinner. You couldn't leave a ladder for me?
My mom would see it. It's too dangerous.
No, what's dangerous is crawling past Hayley's room with a plate full of chipped beef.
Wait, her room's on the other side of the hou--
[cuts off Steve] Let's not get bogged down in the details about who was masturbating where. You just have to end this war with your mom.
I tried, but she wants to keep fighting, so now I'm in it to win it.
Look at yourself. You've already lost, bud. You stink, and you're starving. And you're not wearing underwear.
We're best friends. I know your body. If you're not gonna make up with your mom, you've got to learn how to take care of yourself.
[Francine is appalled to discover that she and Steve were nearly the victim of Morning Mimosa's cruel hosts]
You know what, Trisha "The Sizzle"? Fuck you! [Turns to Steve] Sometimes it's okay to say it, like now, or when you're driving.
S12My Affair Lady
Winner, winner, weed for dinner.
[Stan and Steve debate Stan's monopolization of Francine during a mother-son dance]
Counterpoint, I was the only chauffeur who got laid last night.
[crying] I'm throwing away your business card!
So this is that Lance guy you are so gay for.
I'd have to be a cold-blooded sociopath not to put on this boy and walk him around the block
(Stan and Francine have been dumped in the ocean by Lance's widow. Francine wakes up and sees Stan half-asleep and about to drown)
Stan (half-asleep): Uh, thank you for electing me the mayor of Circuit City. (as he sinks): I will not disappoint you...
S12Manhattan Magical Murder Mystery Tour
FVFrancine voiceover
This isn't how she wanted to end her day...or her life.
[enthused] A real New York hotel! How many Wall Street bankers have had their first prostitute here?
S12The Shrink
DDick
Even though it's adding 45 minutes each way, it's neat to take the train to lunch.
MNMale newlywed
Excuse me, sir. Would you mind if we took your taxi? We're a sweet, young newlywed couple and we kind of expect the world to give us things.
S12Holy Shit, Jeff's Back!
[easing a gun past Hayley towards "Jeff"] Hayley, cover your ears. Daddy's going to make a bang.
[giving Hayley advice about Jeff] Rings catch girls. [lowering her voice and rubbing Hayley's stomach] Babies trap boys.
S12Seizures Suit Stanny
"Seizure", my ass. You didn't have a seizure. You were probably texting someone a picture of your balls or something.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
