Michael Barret quotes from Zoey 101

Michael

That's you?! (pointing to Mr. Bender as a student in a PCA yearbook from the 80s. In the picture, Mr. Bender has an afro, a mustache, and big glasses) Ha ha ha ha ha! (Mr. Bender gives him a look) You were very handsome.

Michael

Am I the ONLY normal person here? (pulls out flute and starts playing)

Michael

(listening to mp3 player) I'm just another kind of girl, and you wanna be my squirrel..

Michael

Are you feelin' flumpy?

Michael

Hey, you know Chase...he was probably on his way here, then fell down some stairs. Landed on his big bush of a head.

Michael

Plus, we heard you guys got pizza.

Chase

And cake.

Zoey

Oh, so you guys just want pizza.

Chase

And cake!

Michael

Save me!

Chase

From what?

Michael

(Points to Quinn) From that!

Michael

'Sup Chase?

Chase

Oh! Hey! (attempts to hide rose he is carrying behind his back)

Michael

Whose the rose for?

Chase

Oh, this? Oh, you caught me . . . it's for you.

Michael

That's nice, man, but how about you give it to Zoey instead?

Chase

That's an idea!!

Chase

Look, don't tell Logan.

Zoey

Hey, sushi's here!

Nicole

Thanks, Chase, we love the free sushi!

Chase

Look, girls, I don't know if I can keep hooking you up with all this free sushi. I think my boss is starting to get a little suspicious.

Zoey

Kazu?

Chase

Yeah, so listen, if anybody asks, just say...

Kazu

Aha! I knew it!

Chase

Kazu!

Kazu

You've been stealing all my sushi and giving it to these girls!

Chase

Uh, no, no, that's... that's not true.

Kazu

Yes, it is! I'm going to tell the Dean. And then you will be... And then you will be...

Zoey

Quinn, next card!

Kazu

Expelled! You will be expelled!

Chase

Expelled?!

Kazu

You're going to prison!

Nicole

No!

Zoey

I'm sorry, I panicked!

Chase

He's out cold.

Zoey

Oh, no, now, we're all gonna get expelled!

Chase

No, nobody's getting expelled!

Nicole

But he's gonna wake up eventually and tell the Dean what happened!

Chase

Yes, that's why we have to get rid of him!

Zoey

Let's tie him up and shove him in the closet!

Chase

Right! Then, late tonight, when everyone's asleep, we hot wire his car, and put Kazu in the trunk!

Zoey

We'll drive him... to Mexico!

Logan

Did she say, "Mexico"?

Michael

Si!

Nicole

But what if the Dean finds out?

Zoey

She has a point.

Chase

Hey... he didn't see who hit him!

Zoey

Right! We'll blame it all on... on... Logan!

Logan

Me?!

Chase

Okay! We'll blame the whole thing on Logan! Stealing the sushi, knocking out Kazu, everything!

Logan

They're gonna blame everything on me!

Michael

I heard.

Zoey

Okay, quick, let's tie up Kazu and shove him in the closet.

Nicole

I got the duct tape!

Logan

I gotta do something!

Michael

Ok, you go get the Dean.

Logan

I'm not gonna let Chase and those crazy girls frame me.

Michael

You go get em, man.

Chase

You gotta hide Elvis.

Nicole

Who's Elvis?

Chase

Our dog!

Zoey

Doesn't PCA have a rule against pets?

Chase

Yeah, that's why we've been hiding him in our room.

Michael

But our DA smelled a dog!

Chase

DA, short for Dorm Adviser.

Zoey

I know.

Chase

OK...that's short for okay

Zoey

Stop it!

Michael

Well, anyway, our DA's getting all suspicious.

Chase

You know what I'm saying?

Michael

You don't even know what you're saying!

Zoey

Chase, thank you so much!

Chase

It’s okay, but, actually, it wasn’t me.

Zoey

Michael?

Michael

Not me.

Zoey

Then who was it? (Chase and Michael point to Logan) Logan? Why would you want to keep me at PCA?

Logan

If you weren't around, who else would I pick on?

Zoey

(on the phone to Chase) Chase, you rock!

Chase

(to Michael) I rock!

Michael

You´re OK.

Logan

(to Chase) Why do you waste your time with the drama club? Why don't you go out for football or something?

Chase

Because the drama club's loaded with hot girls. And I've seen the football team. They're not hot.

Michael

I don't know. Dave, the quarterback, is a pretty handsome dude. (Chase and Logan give him weird looks) I've said too much.

Michael

Calm down. Let me ask you this, it's your play right?

Chase

Yeah, so?

Michael

So, if it's bothering you so much, then change it.

Chase

Change it?

Michael

Write a different ending.

Chase

I can get rid of the kiss! Michael, you, my friend, are a genius in short pants! (runs off)

Michael

I have my moments.