James Garrett quotes from Zoey 101

Zoey

Awesome. So, I'll see you in class tomorrow.

James

I'll see you.

Oh, my God.

Michael

Oh my God.

James

Who talks to a kid like that?

Zoey

[angrily walks over to the closet and begins rummaging] Michael, where are your golf clubs? I'm gonna use a five iron on Logan's head! Here they are. [draws out a long golf club and begins walking towards the door, but James takes the club from her and Michael grabs her around the waist and lifts her up] Hey, put me down! [Michael sits her down on the couch beside him] Am I the only one who wants to do something about this?!

Michael

No, you're just the only one who wants to drive Logan's head 150 yards.

Zoey

I want to get him!

James

We're gonna get him.

Zoey

How?!

James

I think we just need to let Logan hear what he sounds like. [waves Dustin's cellphone with Logan's voicemail on it]

Dustin

He won't care.

Zoey

No way he'll care.

James

I bet he'll care if a lotta people hear what he sounds like. [connects Dustin's cellphone to the computer and begins uploading the voicemail online]

James

My shoes are bigger.

Logan

No, they're not.

James

Yeah, they are.

Logan

You're wearing sandals.

James

They're pretty thick.

Logan

They're just sandals, they're normal sandals.

James

Hey, I'm gonna go shoot some hoops.

Logan

Who cares what you do?

James

Uh-oh, Zoey says I'm late.

Michael

For what?

James

I don't know. But she's my girlfriend, and says I'm late. So the best thing would be for me to run.

Logan

So that's it?!

Michael

That's just it?!

Quinn

Yep!

Michael

So Dean Rivers is just fine with letting him go to school here?

Lola

Uh-huh.

Quinn

He wouldn't even listen to us.

Zoey

He just sat there making a teeny cheesecake.

Logan

Did you remind him that he beat up me, Michael and Chase?!

Michael

AND Del Figgalo!

Quinn

Well, Mark probably deserved it.

Lola

But he was your boyfriend.

Logan

Well, he's not anymore! [Zoey and James look at each other confused, and Quinn glares at him] Well, he's not.

Michael

I'm outraged! Out-raged!

Zoey

Me, too!

James

Now calm down. Have a capucchino.

Well, I guess someone doesn't understand what "banned" means.

Coco

Maurice, listen--

Oh, get out of my sight.

Coco

Wait. Why are you in the women's restroom?

Quinn

He likes the lollipops.

I want you and your little chicky friends outta here.

Lola

You can't throw us out!

Coco

Yeah. Look, Maurice--

[removes the girls from the women's restroom] Yes, I can throw you out. Turn around. There's the exit. Move. Move, ladies. Ladies. Must I call security on you? Out of my bathroom. Out of my restaurant.

James

What's going on?

Zoey

I don't know.

Quinn

Quit pushing us!

Lola

We are citizens!

Coco

Carl, help!

[gets up from his seat and stops Maurice] Hey! Hey! What's the deal, buddy?

The deal is get out unless you want me to call the police.

Coco

Make him let go of me.

Sorry, baby. I'm on parole. [takes his food from the table and leaves the restaurant]

Coco

[starts to cry]

James

Sir, what's the problem here?

Mind your own business.

Zoey

Don't talk to him like that.

Michael

And let her go.

Oh. Is she a friend of yours?

Michael

That's right.

Then all of you out of here! [the people at Vacarro get up from their seats and start to argue as the rest of the gang do the same when Maurice tries to throw Coco out of the restaurant] Come on, Coco. Get out, Get out, Get out, Coco.

Logan

Do you know who my father is?

You're never coming in here again. Banned, Coco. Banned.

Freaks!

Michael

(grabs Logan by the shirt) You told everybody that I'm afraid of roller coasters!

Logan

Uh, James, I think he's about to kill me. Little help?

James

Hang on, I'm organizing this playlist.

Zoey

James, why aren't you doing anything?!

James

I am. I'm making you a really cool playlist.

Zoey

Aw.

Lola

Michael!

Quinn

Stop!

Zoey

He'll stop.

James

Yeah, I know. There's a fence. (Michael, screaming, runs through the fence and it breaks)