Veronica Mars quotes from Veronica Mars

Veronica

Please, get a room. In Australia.

Wallace

Hey, we're practicing for the prom.

Veronica

What debutante bit you and turned you into prom zombie?

Jackie

[waves] We just gave in, the whole nine yards - the ridiculous dress, the tux, lobster dinner, and limo. I mean, it happens once. Why not go all out?

Mac

Because no one sold you as an indentured servant to Butters.

Veronica

Mac, I didn't think he'd actually -

Mac

He's picking me up in a Hummer limousine, we're having dinner on a replica pirate ship, and I suspect he's hired a zeppelin for the ride home. I'm going to fill my pockets with rocks, get a good grip on your ankle, and I'm going to jump off the top of -

Clemmons

[over loudspeaker] Attention students: due to a significant number of alcohol related violations on the senior trip, this year's prom has been cancelled. That is all.

Mac

Yes! Prayer works!

Veronica

Mrs. C. I trust you're well.

Kendall

Oh, well, if it isn't Little Miss Teen Getaway. Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.

Veronica

Like, trouble with a capital "T", that rhymes with "C", that stands for -

Keith

Veronica!

Veronica

I was gonna say "cute."

Veronica

Cameras are on the roof, so if this guy followed you here, we should be able to spot him.

Gia

Wow, how Mission Impossible! I feel like at any moment, Tom Cruise is going to dangle from the ceiling on cables.

Veronica

Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me.

Veronica

Okay, I have news. The senior memories once thought lost forever can, in fact, be generated after all, albeit in a slightly degraded form. The rich kids are throwing a private replacement prom.

Wallace

Damn, they just privatizing everything these days.

Jackie

[looking at invitation] Alterna-Prom? Hmm, formal attire.

Wallace

That's what I'm talking about.

Veronica

Please don't give us the tux speech again.

Wallace

What? You mean how, when I put on a tux, I make James Bond look like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel?

Veronica

I'm stuck on something, and hoped you could help me.

Keith

Absolutely. Unless it's Physics or Chemistry. Or Math. Or English. P.E. - I was good at P.E.

Logan

I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.

Veronica

Epic how?

Logan

Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. Epic. But summer's almost here, and we won't see each other at all. And then you leave town... and then it's over.

Veronica

Logan...

Logan

I'm sorry about last summer. You know, if I could do it over...

Veronica

Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?

Logan

No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

Keith

When you get your chance to testify, it's important you keep yourself in check, okay? Aaron's lawyer is gonna use everything in his bag of tricks to rile you.

Veronica

Ah, but here's the thing - I'm "unrileable." Easygoing Veronica Mars: that's what the kids at school call me.

Keith

You sure you don't want to go over your testimony with the lawyers again?

Veronica

You know what I want, more than anything in the world? I want to be there, in court, watching Aaron at the moment the jury reads the verdict. I want to see that smirk wiped from his face. I want to see his expression at the exact moment he realizes he'll never be a free man again.

Keith

"Easygoing Veronica Mars," huh? [kisses her forehead] You know how fat men are sometimes called "Tiny"?

Veronica

Do you know how long I've wanted to go to Stanford?

Wallace

Since middle school.

Veronica

Elementary, my dear Wallace.

Veronica

Do you have any idea how long I've waited to say that?

Keith

I'm thinking about getting you some sort of... giant hamster ball, so you can roll everywhere in this protective sphere.

Veronica

It'd just draw attention to me. Nobody likes a blonde in a hamster ball.

Wallace

You better enjoy this, 'cause this is as nostalgic as I get. I just wanted to say, it was worth getting taped to a pole. I'm gonna miss you.

Veronica

And my stupid ass face?

Wallace

[walking away] This conversation never happened.

Veronica

Sure it did.

Veronica

Hey, Cassidy. Who's Amber?

Beaver

I have no idea.

Veronica

They keyed the wrong car? How's Amber gonna know that she's a bitch?

Keith

I'm on a flight to Reno leaving an hour after graduation.

Veronica

I don't know if I like the idea of you running around a place full of armed, drunk businessmen.

Keith

That's why I rarely go to Texas.

Keith

For you, on this momentous occasion. [hands her an envelope]

Veronica

[smells and shakes envelope] A pony?!

Clemmons

I can't decide if my life is going to be easier or more difficult with you gone. Anything I should know in case I get another one like you someday?

Veronica

Don't keep all your passwords taped on the bottom of your stapler. And stay cool, Mr. C.

Veronica

Where's your brother?

Dick

I think he took Ghost World up to his room. They're probably up there makin' love. Or playing Dungeons and Dragons. Or both, at the same time. They're both, like, 12th-level dorks. Just sayin'.