Veronica Mars quotes from Veronica Mars

Veronica

"Freedom. That's what it's all about, but talking about it and being it - that's two different things."

Logan

Whew. You came up all deliberate-like. I figured you wanted to be first in line to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance, not recite my prize-winning essay.

Veronica

Neither, actually. I'm quoting Easy Rider, which you may remember making me watch last summer?

Logan

That's funny, that sounds a lot like my essay.

Weevil

I need your help.

Veronica

Ah, if I had fifty bucks every time someone said that.

Weevil

Look, I know it's a drag being you, and...

Veronica

No, seriously. I'm gonna need fifty bucks if you expect me to keep listening.

Weevil

Well, I'm banking on curiosity getting the better of you..

Veronica

Alright tell me! Damn my curiosity!

Logan

So this is staking out, huh? It looks sexier in the movies.

Veronica

Did you hear anything from Hannah?

Logan

Does deafening silence count?

Veronica

You know, I'm not sure, but I think when they start shipping your girlfriends off, you are officially a bad boy. [they high-five each other]

Logan

Her dad and your dad should get together and go bowling.

Mac

This serves as a preemptive apology for the conversation that's about to take place. Okay, and... Beaver and I occasionally, you know, make out.

Veronica

I made out once, back in the day. I think he had me pinned up against a woolly mammoth.

Mac

So, not that I'm an expert in this stuff, but four months, typical high school boy - there should be some... under-the-bra action, no?

Veronica

Let me consult my 'Idiot's Guide to Wanton Behavior': basically, you're asking me because I'm the sluttiest person you know?

Mac

Um, "slutty" is your word choice. Mine was "worldly."

Veronica

So four months and nada?

Mac

Hand holding, kissing.

Veronica

Tongue?

Mac

Some tongue.

Veronica

Ass grabbing?

Mac

Helped me brush the dog hair off my pants once.

Lamb

Still picking winners, huh, Veronica?

Veronica

I told you, when I start picking losers, it's all you.

Weevil

You know, an 09er could come in here with tea leaves and a Ouija board and they'd send out a SWAT team. It's time for plan B.

Veronica

Not just yet, Dirty Harry.

Weevil

In case you haven't noticed, I ain't no mick cop.

Veronica

Uh, okay. Dirty Sanchez?

Veronica

Yep, I have no idea what compelled me to do that.

Logan

Is it because you're five?

Veronica

I'm a little punchy. I haven't been sleeping.

Logan

Thoughts of me? Hey, I get it. Sometimes I'm up all night, just thinkin' about myself.

Veronica

Remind me: why did we break up?

Logan

Well, you thought the other guy had greener grass. Or was it something about me being too much man? No, wait. It was you - you were too much man.

Veronica

Peter was gearing up for what he called the "outing of all outings." I was wondering if he was pulling his favorite teacher out of the closet.

[sighs] Veronica, I think when you get out in the world a little more, you'll discover that not all well-dressed, articulate, detail-oriented men are gay. Many of them are just... Asian.

Veronica

Mac Attack, what's the haps?

Mac

I got mugged. By my own principal. They took my cell-phone interceptor and apparently plan on keeping it until the end of the year. What happened to "end of the day"? Why wasn't that working?

Veronica

Everyone still kept bringing in their cell-phone interceptors?

Mac

Is there any chance you can get it back for me? I borrowed it from a buddy at Radio Shack because, apparently, I've become a psycho ex-girlfriend and I wanted to listen to Beaver's cell phone calls. [Veronica is silent] You're judging me.

Veronica

Nope. I'm judging myself. Why don't I have a cell phone interceptor?

Mac

Please, respect the business model, Veronica. I do the gadgets. You do the actual espionage.

Butters

That was your secret knock?

Veronica

The genius is its simplicity.

Butters

We have exactly eleven minutes before my dad gets back. The box is under there.

Mac

Wow, Butters, this is - this is way cool of you.

Butters

Just so you know, I'm an excellent dancer, so, don't worry about that.

Mac

[confused] Oh... okay. I'll try not to...

Butters

Well, I don't have to dance, though. I enjoy it, but I also enjoy a good conversation.

Veronica

Look! Fake vomit - courtesy of locker 213. And whoever is in locker 792 is sans one "Smell it, Bitch" T-shirt.

Butters

So, Mac, what color dress are you wearing?

Mac

I'm actually wearing pants.

Butters

[laughs] I just don't want the corsage to be, like, blue, and your dress is red and you think I'm an idiot.

Mac

Veronica?

Veronica

[holds up a book with a tag attached that reads '#333'] Do you mind if I give this Anarchist Cookbook back to Weevil?

Butters

You know his locker number?

Veronica

Who else would brag about meeting Satan halfway?

Keith

Can you think of any reason Logan would have got three calls from Kendall on the day of the crash?

Veronica

[sighs] Well, let's see...I believe the Latin term is coitus sordidus.

Keith

They were sleeping together? [Veronica nods] That was weeks before Kendall's husband fled the country.

Veronica

Logan may be a little fuzzy on the commandments.

Veronica

You here to confess? Is that your tail I see between your legs?

Weevil

No. But I can see how you might get confused.

Weevil

You believe me?

Veronica

How could I not when you're batting those maybelline lashes at me?