Van Clemmons quotes from Veronica Mars

Clemmons

Mr. Echolls, I was wondering if I could have a word?

Logan

"Anthropomorphic." All yours, big guy.

Clemmons

Oh. [fake laugh] Your father has generously offered to donate a pair of boots for our school fundraising auction.

Logan

Not the ones made for walking? God, I love those boots.

Clemmons

Look, I'm just the vice-principal. Anything I say on the subject has to be cleared by the principal, so -

Veronica

So you're just a powerless factotum and I should talk to Principal Moorehead?

Clemmons

Yes... Exactly.

Keith

My coat?

Clemmons

Right. It's in the closet.

Keith

[opens the door and sees Veronica hiding inside] Yup. That's mine, all right.

Veronica

Please, get a room. In Australia.

Wallace

Hey, we're practicing for the prom.

Veronica

What debutante bit you and turned you into prom zombie?

Jackie

[waves] We just gave in, the whole nine yards - the ridiculous dress, the tux, lobster dinner, and limo. I mean, it happens once. Why not go all out?

Mac

Because no one sold you as an indentured servant to Butters.

Veronica

Mac, I didn't think he'd actually -

Mac

He's picking me up in a Hummer limousine, we're having dinner on a replica pirate ship, and I suspect he's hired a zeppelin for the ride home. I'm going to fill my pockets with rocks, get a good grip on your ankle, and I'm going to jump off the top of -

Clemmons

[over loudspeaker] Attention students: due to a significant number of alcohol related violations on the senior trip, this year's prom has been cancelled. That is all.

Mac

Yes! Prayer works!

Clemmons

I can't decide if my life is going to be easier or more difficult with you gone. Anything I should know in case I get another one like you someday?

Veronica

Don't keep all your passwords taped on the bottom of your stapler. And stay cool, Mr. C.