Piz Piznarski quotes from Veronica Mars

Piz

You know, you're adorable when you surveil.

Wallace

Took this side. Hope that's cool.

Piz

Yeah, no sweat. I rarely wear clothes indoors. Hope that's cool.

Wallace

[chuckles, then stops abruptly] That's not cool at all.

We saw you get ripped off.

Veronica

You're twelve. What were you doing up at Hearst?

Checking out the college girls laying out. Some of them go topless.

Wallace

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up right there, son. Tell us exactly where this sunbathing goes on.

South quad, where that statue is.

Veronica

What are you saying you saw?

Piz

Is it the Randolph Hearst statue, or the amorphous blobby thing?

Veronica

Howdy, boys. Anyone up for going to a Pi Sig blowout? [Wallace and Piz look unimpressed] Beer and ladies and music...and other stuff guys like, I'm sure? Fast cars, loose slots, electronic gadgetry? Televised sports? Pornography? Nothing? None of this grabs you?

Piz

We were already planning on going.

Wallace

I think everybody at Hearst is gonna be there.

Veronica

Awesome. Then you can help me out.

Wallace

Suddenly, it sounds like a lot less fun.

Veronica

Like why bother with something that's not good, cause if it's not good -

Piz

It's bad. Exactly. But these guys were like, 'as long as she's got a pair of-' [makes a motion for breasts and Veronica gives him a look] You know, it was indelicate.

Veronica

What's indelicate about shoes?

Piz

[laughs] But I figure, you know I know what I like. Why waste my time?

Veronica

Like why bother with something that's not good, just because it's something?

Piz

Especially when you know the difference. Which not many people do. I mean, do you?

Veronica

I - I think I do.

Piz

You see I think it's like 90% of life, just knowing the difference.

Keith

Hello, Stosh. What do you say we head out, have a few beers?

Piz

That's one of those trick questions, isn't it?

Keith

I got some new IDs for you. Wallace. [hands Wallace and Piz their new IDs]

Piz

This picture is Jon Bon Jovi.

Keith

Yes. It is.

Wallace

Biggie Smalls? We don't really all look alike, Mr. Mars.

Keith

I know that, Wallace. Now, let's go out and get our drink on.

Veronica

You realize you're the radio-host version of a rock star, right? I don't know what the groupie procedure is for this scenario, but I might have to throw my panties at you.

Piz

Or I could autograph you. I believe we have some Sharpies lying around.

Mac

Hey, did anyone else hear there's gonna be a Matchbox 20 reunion show?

Piz

So? Rob Thomas is a whore.

Mac

Yeah.

Veronica

Hey, you never told me what happened with your whole man crush thing.

Mac

Wallace has a man crush?

Piz

The man crush isn't me, is it?

Veronica

Some guy following him around campus. Is it Piz?

Piz

So, what's the protocol for a plane christening? I mean, does someone get to, like, smash the, uh, Sea Monkey with a miniature bottle of champagne?

Wallace

The protocol? Pray to whatever god you believe in she flies. Otherwise, my ass is grass.

Veronica

Orville Wright's exact words, if I recall.

Piz

I'm so nervous. This is totally knotting up my inner nerd.

Mac

Wait, you have an inner one?

Piz

I-it's a nice day. Let's go eat outside. Veronica? Come on.

Looks even more familiar from behind.

Piz

I promise you, karma's going to take care of that guy for you.

Veronica

I know. I'm gonna run him over with my "karma."