Wallace Fennel quotes from Veronica Mars

Wallace

It's not going to work. You can't take the cool out of me. Look, pocket protector and I'm still full of pimp juice.

Wallace

My first college party - drinking piña coladas with a dude and talking about math.

Wallace

Hackey sack? The final arena of unquestioned white domination.

Wallace

Mexican hairless. What's the point of having a dog if it's bald? What are you gonna pet? Skin?

Wallace

Do you own those clothes, or did you stop by Dirty Co-eds R Us?

Wallace

See, when you assume, you really just make an ass out of you

Wallace

That's Veronica Mars - making friends and influencing people wherever she goes. See, if you come here next year, you've already got enemies. Just feel right at home.

Wallace

The world is upside down. Veronica Mars wants to believe in miracles, and I'm the cynical one.

Wallace

Another big Friday night. You got plans?

Veronica

I don't know. I might take Backup for a run or rent a movie, maybe.

Wallace

Hey, congratulations. You are officially Neptune High's most boring person.

Veronica

Did I mention the movie might be PG-13?

Wallace

Oh, jump back, wild child!

Veronica

What about you, Wallace? Your life still a non-stop Nelly video?

Wallace

Hey, at least I want my life to be a non-stop Nelly video.

Veronica

I printed out the entire browser history from Logan Echolls's computer in his fourth period computer lab class.

Wallace

So is he guilty?

Veronica

Well, of wanting desperately to see pictures of Alyssa Milano naked, yes.

Wallace

Hi, sir. Wallace Fennel.

Veronica

[proudly] Wallace is a friend of mine. [Veronica performs a martial arts gesture with her hands.] Take that, high school guidance counselor.

Keith

So how did she rope you into this?

Wallace

She promised me all the answer keys to... Just promised to be my friend.

Keith

I'd have held out for a better offer.

Wallace

You called your geometry teacher a jackass?

Veronica

That's totally taken out of context. Let me see it.

Wallace

"Papa Bear"?

Veronica

Never happened.

Veronica

You ready to put the hurt on that Pythagorean theorem?

Wallace

You don't even want to mess with me on that today. I just about merked my mom's crazy, no-rent-paying tenant this afternoon.

Veronica

That guy's sleazy, so I hope merked means something bad. You know, my dad's still got that sheriff sheen. He's great at scaring people away.

Wallace

No, I got it covered. [Keith enters the room]

Veronica

Seriously, you should talk to him.

Keith

Am I giving you the birds and bees again, Wallace?